To Have Lost
by Elissahara30
Summary: After the events Twelve Sharp, Stephanie is dealing with almost losing Ranger and in the process helping her sister with her ex.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

**Warning**: This has scene with swearing and violence. Read at your own risk.

To Have Lost 

By, Elissahara30

_The door opened and closed. There was a moment of silence and then the soft sound of unhurried footsteps._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_My heart was pounding in my chest, and I didn't know what to wish . . ._

_Breath, just breathe._

_One of the men in my life was about to be eliminated._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_A sob escaped from somewhere deep in my throat, disturbing the silence._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_Scrog was concentrating on the slight rustle of clothes and scuff of shoes on carpet._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_And then Ranger appeared in the living room._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_Our eyes met and there was no shock of surprise in Ranger's eyes. _

_Breathe, just breathe._

_He had hands raised. He walked in knowing Scrog was here._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_He turned his head and looked directly at Scrog._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_And Scrog shot him._

_Breathe, just breathe._

_Scrog looked at him for a moment, gun poised. "Execution time," Scog said._

I sat up in bed, my heart pounding and unable to catch my breath. I fought the panic the welled up in me and the black dots dancing before my eyes. With shaking hands I reached out for the glass of water that I kept by my bed and gulped down the contents. I pressed the heel of my hand to my eyes trying to get the images out of my head. When my heart rate returned to normal I stood up and made my way to the bathroom. After I took care of mother nature, I walked through my apartment turning on all the lights, checking for invisible monsters.

At the moment, all my fear was based in my head. I stood in the hall fixated on the spot where Ranger had been shot. I came so close losing him, that even my denial couldn't keep the nightmares away. I sat down on the floor pulling my legs to my chest and resting my head on my knees.

I'm Stephanie Plum and I work as a Bond Enforcement Agent or Bounty Hunter. Recently someone had tried to assume the identity of my friend, mentor and one time lover Carlos Manoso aka Ranger. Eddie Scrog, had tried to assume Ranger's life to the point of kidnapping Ranger's daughter Julie. Ranger had enlisted my help, but in the end I really hadn't been that much of a help and Ranger nearly lost his life. I'm thankful that didn't happen, but it came to close for my comfort level. It had also been the same night that I had admitted to myself and out loud to my boyfriend Joe Morelli, a Homicide Detective for the Trenton PD, that I loved him. Yet, I still hadn't told the other man in my life that I loved him as well.

After the initial panic attack after the shooting, I had been doing fine. Joe and I had become closer and I was starting to appreciate him more. Then there was Ranger, I had gone to see him and brought him a cake which I had ended up eating it all. I like to think that currently we are in a holding pattern. Ranger and I, well we are as close as his emotional walls would allow, and that makes me a little sad. I know deep down I can't keep both of these wonderful men, but I can't let either of them go, it would hurt me to much.

Then four nights ago, around the same time that Ranger had come by my apartment and told me that he was going to be out of town for awhile, that the nightmares started. Four nights of reliving the fear of losing Ranger, and four nights of me sitting in the living room staring at the spot he'd been shot. I was really starting to think I was losing my mind. Maybe I was. I closed my eyes tired eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke stiff, cold and sore from having fallen asleep on my Living Room floor. I wearily stood up and look out onto a sunny, cloudless September day and began to wonder why I felt like someone had walked over my grave. The goose bumps rose on my arms and I just couldn't feel warm inside. This just did not sit well with this Jersey Girl; we do not get scared by unknown feelings. So, like true Stephanie Plum style, I buried my unease and denied that anything bad was going to happen today.

After drinking a gallon of coffee and eating a cold slice of pizza for breakfast I dressed in my uniform of jeans and a white t-shirt and threw on a blue checked flannel shirt. I slipped my feet into my steel toes CAT boats and laced them up. I pulled my hair back into my pony tail, put on my SEALS hat. I applied three coats of mascara, only due to the unease I felt. Yup, I was ready to roll. I grabbed my bag and was headed for the door when my phone rang.

I debated about whether or not I should answer the phone, when that same uneasy feeling came over me. This time it trickled to my stomach making me feel nauseas, I ran the phone and answered breathlessly, "Hello."

A very small and terrified voice on the other end said, "Aunt Stephanie?"

I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall by my phone, "Angie honey what's wrong?"

"My daddy's here," she whispered over the line.

"What!" Steve was my sister Valerie's ex-husband. Last I heard he took all the money and ran away with the babysitter. "Angie, what's going on over there?"

"Aunt Stephanie, he has a gun and he hurt m . . m . . mom. P. . pp. .please come help us." She cried silently.

I stood up and thought hard on what I could do, "Don't worry Angie, I'll be there as fast as I can. I promise." Hanging up the phone had to have been the hardest thing I ever did. Part of me wanted to keep on the line, but if I was going to be able to help, I had the hang up. I went to my cookie jar and took out my gun, and checked to make sure it was loaded. Then I tucked it in the back of my jeans and covered the gun with my flannel shirt.

I picked up my cell and debated on who I should call. I knew calling Joe was what I should be doing, but I didn't. I also did not call any of Ranger's men, as much as I trusted Ranger's guys I just didn't want to tie up any of Ranger's resources for a matter like this. I dropped the cell phone back in my bag and headed out of my apartment. I ran down the hall and down the stairs, because I just didn't have the time to wait for the elevator.

Once out the back door I headed to my black and white mini cooper and got in. I took a mental moment to gather my courage and started the car and headed out of my parking lot. I headed toward the 'Burg and to my sister's house. Five minutes later I was on my sister's street and I stopped two houses away. Nothing outside looked any different, so taking a deep breath I put my car in gear and drove the rest of the way. I pulled in front and got out of the car and headed toward the front door of my sister's side of the duplex. I knocked on the door the same time I turned to door knob. I was surprised to find that the door was unlocked.

I got this weird sense of deja vu the skittered across my skin. I felt like I was about to walk into the lion's den without any cloths on. I opened the door slowly when I was suddenly grabbed and pulled into the house. A cold barrel of a gun was pressed to my head and alcohol laden breath was wafting into my face.

"What are you doing here?" asked Steve, my former brother-in-law.

I gulped and very clearly said, "I was going to take the girls out today. We had plans for the whole day."

Steve pulled me into the living room and pushed me away. Valerie had an ugly black eye forming was huddled in the living room holding her girls to her. Steve was pacing the living room with the gun clutched in his right hand. He was tapping his head with his gun hand muttering under his breath the whole time. Then he stopped and pointed the gun at me again. "Your stupid bitch of a sister ruined me."

I briefly glanced at Valerie, "What did she do?" I asked even though the answer really didn't matter. I just wanted to keep him talking so he didn't do any rash, namely hurting me.

"She hired that damn little slut of a babysitter is what she did. That little whore took me for everything I had. She hooked up with some guy in the Caymans and cleaned everything out that I had invested away." I felt rather than saw Val cringe at Steve's words.

Okay, well, he is really delusional if he thinks he should pin his infidelity on my sister like that. Also, for running away with said baby sister, but I don't think it would be smart for me to point it out to him.

"When I came back here to Trenton to find Valerie, she had hooked up with some dough boy man and had a kid with him. God, she was pathetic before, but now. Ugh, she let herself go." He pointed his gun, towards my sister and I stepped in his path trying to get his focus back on me. "I am going to take my girls and leave here and make sure that bitch will never make a fool of me again."

This was not good, "Why don't we let the girls wait for you outside while we talk, okay?"

He looked at me with tired and angry eyes, "I don't think that is a good idea."

An oily sick feeling rolled in my stomach, and I took a step back toward Val and the girls, "I think they are scared and you really don't want them to be scared of you when you take them right?" Please God, let this work.

Tears started out of Steve's eyes, "I would never hurt my girls." He then started pacing again, and he ranted some more. I had no idea what he was on, but I knew it had to more than just alcohol. He then stopped and looked at me again, pointed the gun at me, "You take them outside and you come back or I'll shoot your bitch of a sister."

I slowly back toward Val and the girls; I didn't want Steve to notice the gun in the back of my jeans. I crouched down next to Angie and Mary Alice, and Angie was holding Lisa to her rocking back and forth. I briefly moved where Steve would not notice that I removed my cell phone, and slipped it into Angie's hoodie pocket. Our eyes met, and Angie understood what I wanted her to do. We stood and started for the door when, Steve said, "Leave the baby."

"No!" Valerie said.

I shot Val a dark look and she shut up immediately, "You don't want to do anything that the girls will hold against you. They will understand when you come get them later, but let them take the baby. Think, Steve. You will be able to get them later okay. I'll even help you." I hoped he let the baby go.

Steve started pulling at his hair and growling under his breath. I noticed his left hand was shaking and this was so not good. "So, wrong . . . so wrong." He kept muttering to himself. "Just take the brat out with my girls, but I am not taking it."

Like hell he was going to take my other two nieces anywhere, but he didn't need to know that now did he. I watched at Angie and Mary Alice with Lisa run out of the house to the front. I prayed that Angie would call the police right away.

Steve then charged after Valerie and grabbed her by her hair and started dragging her through the living room to the kitchen. I reached over and pulled a heavy lamp and managed to hit Steve over the head, knocking him down. I picked up Valerie and started running for the front door when Steve fired his gun and hit Val in the back. I pulled my .38 and fired at the same time as Steve fired another shot aimed at me.

It is funny how time seems to slow down to nanoseconds, I swear I saw that bullet leave Steve's gun. It was in that instant that I knew my life would never be the same again. Just as the bullet impacted with my head my last thought was, 'Oh, shit this is not good.' Then all was darkness.

A/N: Parts of the dream sequence were taken from Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich.

Look for: _The World In Between_ coming to a web listing near you.


	2. Chapter 2: The World In Between

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line, Gabriel and Carlie are mine. _

The World In Between 

By, Elissahara30

_I was on my back, and I was curled up fetus style. No light. No room to stretch my legs. I was pretty sure I was crammed into some sort of wooden box. And suddenly there was a very slim, faint sliver of light in my box. Maybe it was daylight, or maybe I was going to heaven. The box opened and I tumbled out, and fell into Ranger's arms._

_He was as stunned as I was. He had a vise-like grip on my arms, holding me up. His eyes were dilated black, and the line of his mouth was tight. "I saw you folded up in there, and I thought you were dead," he said. _

I thought you were dead . . . . It was like an omen, even then. I wasn't sure what I was right now. I sat in the back of the ambulance and watched as the EMTs worked on tying to keep me alive; it was disconcerting to say the least. I always thought that all the out of body stuff of a bunch of hooey, amazing when you realize you were wrong.

I tried to focus on the here and now, but I wanted to drift away and somehow doing that was a very, very bad idea. I closed my eyes and briefly drifted off. When I opened my eyes again all I could see was white, with no ending or beginning. A niggling little feeling in the back of my head told me this was all wrong, and I started to frown.

Off in the distance a teenager about sixteen years old dressed in a black suit with a loosened collar and tie came to me. He had dirty dishwater blond hair done up in spikes, deep dark blue eyes, and a very sardonic expression on his face. He stopped about three feet from me and lit a cigarette. He took a deep drag and held it for a minute before exhaling.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You tell me Stephanie," he replied.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you."

He smiled at me again and then lazily walked around me, looking me up and down and took another drag from his cigarette, while shaking his head, "You my, dear are in waiting."

I was really confused now, "Waiting for what?"

Again his faced creased with that damn smile, "For you to make up your mind."

"I still don't understand?" Jeez, give me a road map here, I am so lost.

"When a person is not quite dead, and in your case not exactly in a position to be alive, they are considered in waiting. See, for a lucky few, they get to decide whether or not they want to go back. We call this the In Between."

"So, do I sit here and contemplate my life up to point or some shit like that?" I asked.

"Humph, yeah some shit like that. You don't have to stay here the whole time, you can check in on your family for instance. Kind of a sneak peek of things going on while you're in limbo."

"Please tell me this is not an 'It's a Wonderful Life' kinda deal." He just smiled and shook his head at me, "Okay, so what is going on with me now?" I asked.

"Why don't you see for yourself," The teenager threw his arms out wide and I found myself standing in St. Francis's emergency room. I turned around as the glass doors slid open and the EMTs came rushing pushing a gurney with me strapped to it. There as one person holding up an IV and another applying pressure to my head.

"We have a gunshot wound to the head, here." Shouted one of EMTs as they pushed me into a secured emergeny room. The nursing staff and doctors rushed in, "Do we have a pulse!" Shouted one of the Emergency room doctors.

"Here BP is 65 over 101 and her pulse is at 65 beats per minute." Shouted one of the nurses, she hooked up the oxygen monitor and checked the oxygen levels that popped on screen. "Looks like her oxygen levels are dropping, currently at 75"

"Okay, people we need to get her to the OR stat, Marshowsky, page Dr. Billows from Neurology here. We'll need him for the surgery."

I started to walk away, my stomach not feeling so well. I turned at looked at the teenager as he took another drag from his cigarette. "I think I'll go to the waiting room now."

The teenager raised an eye brow at me and smirked, "What you don't want to watch the surgery."

"Who are you anyway?" Stephanie Plum the Master of Deflection.

"How rude of me, you can call me Gabriel."

"You're one of God's angles." That's it I have just walked into the Twilight Zone.

"Yeah, but don't let it go to your head. I happen to make many visits to the In Between."

"Huh," was my only response. I don't seem to remember my Sunday school teacher ever mentioning that God's angles smoked.

Gabriel started walking back toward the waiting room and I reluctantly followed. I was struck speechless. The waiting room was packed with almost half the 'Burg. My parents where there holding Val's girls, my Grandma Mazur was talking in hushed tones to one of her cronies and Albert Kloughn, Val's boyfriend and Lisa's father was sitting in another seat. He had a despondent and glazed look on his face. There was Lula and Connie sitting close to my best friend Mary Lou. I saw Joe sitting close to my parents with his head in his hands. And Ranger, off away watching the room in tense silence, hmm when did he get back?

Gabriel crouched next to me and he pointed to my parents, "They're waiting to hear about you and Valerie."

I turned to him abruptly, "Is Val going to be alright?"

He gave me a blank look, "I am not allowed to tell you that." He then stood and started out of the Emergency Room.

"Wait where are you going?" I called.

Turning back to me he said, "Its time for you to think about what you want. I'll be back for you later." I shivered, and felt ill at ease.

I sat with my parents for what felt like hours and I started to feel very tired again. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. When I opened my eyes I found myself back in all the never ending whiteness. I looked around myself and spotted a little girl playing with a doll. I slowly made my way over to her and crouched next to her.

The little girl stopped playing and looked up at me; she had the most amazing sea green eyes. It made me think of the ocean during a winter storm. Her hair was a mass of dark messy curls that hung down her face, and she gave me the most brilliant smile. I smiled back at her. "Hi, my name is Stephanie."

"Hi, my names Carlie and I'm four year old and I want to be an Inter-galactic Princess." She told me in her sweet little voice.

I smiled softly at her, "Yeah, me too. So, Carlie what are you doing here?"

She looked at me for a few minutes; she scrunched her nose like she was thinking about her answer really hard. "I'm in waiting," she whispered. My heart ached for this little girl; it just did not seem fair.

Carlie looked at me and then at a spot over my shoulder, "The doctor has come out, you should go back now."

"What?" Then I found myself back in the Emergency waiting room. It was later in the day, closer to dinner and my parents where still here, but my grandmother, my nieces and Albert were all gone. Mary Lou, Connie and Lula where also not there, probably had to get something to eat.

I also noticed that Joe and Ranger where still there and it looked like they were deep in some discussion. By the look on Joe's face, it was not a good conversation.

I walked to my parents and crouched down next to my mom, and looked into her pale face. Ever since I was little I remembered my mother handling everything stoically. As long as she was able to iron when she was stressed her world remained on its axis. The time that I had jumped off the garage roof, trying to fly, my underwear had perfect pleats for a month. It was when I became older that my mom had began to tipple a little from all the stress that I caused her. Yet, I always knew that she would handle it all with her head held high. Somehow seeing her today, made me think this could very well break that resolve.

The automatic doors opened with a whoosh, and a very tired and grim faced doctor came out. He looked around the room and noticed my parents, "Mr. and Mrs. Plum?"

This drew everyone's attention, "Yes, I'm Mr. Plum."

The doctor sat next to them, he hunched forward in his seat looking at my parents, and he cleared his throat. "I'm Dr. Billows the Neurosurgeon here at St. Francis. What I have to say is not good, the bullet entered the frontal lob of her skull and did not exit. The fact that she survived is a miracle. For all intense and purposes, your daughter should have died. I was able to remove the bullet, and we have left a drainage tube in to make sure there is no cerebral swelling. She is stable for the moment, and breathing on her own." He sighed heavily, "Your daughter has slipped into a coma, and the likelihood of her ever waking up again is very slim. Even if she wakes, the chances of her having severe brain damage is great. I'm very sorry."

Sitting there watching my mother's face crumble ripped a hole in my chest. My mother turned her head and started sobbing into my father's chest. The doctor patted my mother's knee, then stood up and headed out of the waiting room.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ranger dragging out a very pissed off Joe. I got up and followed them out into the parking lot. Ranger pulled Joe into a secluded outcropping.

Ranger pushed Joe away, "Get your shit together Morelli."

"FUCK," Joe raged as he hit the side of the outcropping making his knuckles raw and bloody.

"You will not go back in there until you can calm down, Stephanie's parents have enough to deal with; they do not need you going all emotional on them." Ranger said softly, his blank face firmly in place.

Then Joe did something so unexpected, he pulled his gun and pointed it at Ranger. Catching his movements prompted Ranger to pull his own gun. I stepped forward shouting, "No!"

"What do you think your doing Morelli?" Ranger asked, his jaw tight with tension, while holding his gun steady on Joe.

"I have always hated the fact that she trusted you and turned to you when felt she couldn't come to me. And the one time she could have used you, you weren't there."

I watched as something unreadable flashed in Ranger's eyes, "Blaming me won't make this better."

"No, but it will make me feel better."

I stepped forward in between the two most important men in my life and looked at each of them in turn. "I don't want this, no matter what happens to me, I do not want this." I prayed that somehow I would get through.

Joe took at step back and lowered his gun; he then looked briefly back to the Emergency Entrance before walking away toward the parking lot. Ranger slowly lowered his gun and watched Joe walk away. Joe got into his SUV and sped out of the parking lot. I sat down heavily on the ground and pulled my knees up to my chest. I sat and watched as Ranger took in a few deep and steady breaths, the only indicator that his small confrontation had affected him any. He then headed back toward the hospital emergency doors.

I sat there thinking for a long time, and I felt rather than saw Gabriel come toward me. He sat down next to me and lit another cigarette. "So, have you decided?"

"Yeah, I have."

"Good." He said as inhaled deeply and blew it out forming little smoke rings.

TBC . . . . .

_This scene came from 'Eleven on Top' by Janet Evanovich._


	3. Chapter 3: Sleeping Beauty Wakes

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine._

Sleeping Beauty Wakes 

By, Elissahara30

_I sat there thinking for a long time, and I felt rather than saw Gabriel come toward me. He sat down next to me and lit another cigarette. "So, have you decided?"_

"_Yeah, I have." _

"_Good." He said as inhaled deeply and blew it out forming little smoke rings._

Gabriel grabbed my hand and looked intently into my eyes, "Once you have made up your mind, there is no turning back. No matter what happens, you must accept that it was your choice."

I nodded my head nervously wondered what will become of me, and I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off . . . .

I felt like I was buried underneath tons of sand, my chest felt heavy and my limbs uncooperative. I fought to open my eyes and the first thing I saw was a very white ceiling. I was really getting tired of the color white. It was the small things that I noticed first, the sound of blip, blip, blip, the faint smell of daisies wafting about the room. The cool air of a fan blowing on my face, my fingers brushing against the softest sheets ever, almost as good as Rangers'. I was alive.

I wanted to move, but my body didn't want to respond, so I laid there wondered how long it would take before someone came in to check on me. Thankfully I did not have long to wait. A nurse came into my room with, and started checking the equipment when she turned around to me; she jumped back and clutches her chest, "Holy Mother of God, you're awake. Jesus, I need to contact Dr. Fadden," and out she went. Well, that was not the welcome back I expected.

Almost instantly my room filled with people, one checking my eyes, another checking my reflexes, another checking my blood pressure, there was so much going on that my head was spinning. What the worst part was when everyone started asking me various questions and I even if I could respond I just couldn't keep up with all the activity.

A man in his mid-forties pushed himself into the room and shouted, "Everyone out, she does not need all of you hovering over her." Almost as fast as they came, they left the room and once again there was peace. The new comer introduced himself as Dr. Fadden took a few minutes to examine me, and gave me a much appreciated sip of water. The doctor raised up my bed so I could see my surroundings better. The room I was in wasn't a standard hospital room. The walls were a soft yellow with a grass green trim. There was comfortable arm chairs, and a hard wood floor. On the walls were very tasteful reproductions of landscapes. The window to the right looked out over a green lawn and what could only possibly be a lake. The room was better than most my apartment.

He pulled up a rolling chair that was hidden in a cherry wood armoire at my left. I managed to see that is housed what looked like different medical supplies, how very nice. Dr Fadden sat there just looking at me, and I started to feel uncomfortable. He must have noticed because he cleared his throat nervously, "In all my years in practice, I had never once had a patient who beat the odds as you have." He looked away briefly before meeting my eyes again, "You have been in a coma for a year, you are currently at Brentwood Care Facility in Brentwood, Massachusetts. You have been in our care for eight months."

A year! One year has gone by and it felt like I had left my apartment yesterday. I slept away one year of my life! What the hell! I noticed that Dr. Fadden was still talking to me and I tuned back into him, "I won't know for sure how much damage you sustained from your brain injury, but after a MRI and some cognitive tests we should be at a better standpoint on how to start your recovery program."

He then stood up and left my room, making notes into a palm pilot, I was completely forgotten. Welcome back Stephanie!

I must have drifted off again, because I woke up to a great clamor of noise outside my room.

"We didn't just drive 6 hours nonstop to be told to come back during visiting hours. I don't give a hooey what your regulations say, that's my granddaughter and I'm going to see her. If you don't like it, you can just stuff it up your wazu!" Shouted what could only be my Grandma Mazur.

Than I heard a scandalized, "Mother!" That could only come from _my_ mother.

The door to my room burst open and my Grandma waltzed in like she owned the place. She was dressed in a canary yellow velour suite, with matching purse and tennis shoes. She plopped herself in the chair next to my bed and smiled toothily at me. Right behind grandma came my much harried and tired looking mother, who pulled up a chair to sit right next me. My mother reached out and took my hand in hers, her eyes where overly bright like she was about to cry.

"Well, it's about damn time you woke up. It's been awful dole back in Trenton without you." Ah, grandma gotta love her.

"How are you feeling?" Asked my mother.

I smiled softly at my mom, I was struck at how different she looked, and the year I was in my coma hadn't been kind to my mother. She looked like she had lost quite a bit of weight and new lines made home on her face.

"Better now," I whispered. I had so many questions that needed answered, like how were Val and the girls, what happened to Steve and Rex where was Rex?

Over the course of a few hours, my mother and grandmother caught me up on all the news of the 'Burg. That Valerie had made a complete recovery and she and Albert had a quiet little wedding in my parent's backyard. I learned that Steve, Val's ex, had been embezzling from the company he worked for in California and had been shipping the money off to the Caymans for a few years before he ran off with the babysitter. I had managed to shoot him in the chest, but he recovered is now serving a lengthy sentence for embezzlement; two counts attempted murder and attempted kidnapping. I learned that Lula had moved in with Tank one of Ranger's men and Connie was still working for Vinnie. Yet, when they talked about Joe, I felt that there was more going on than what they were really telling me. My mom said that Joe was a mess the first month after the shooting, and Grandma jumped in stating that Joe was almost suspend for fighting. After a while Joe put himself together and was doing great.

"How are you and Dad affording this place?" I asked my mother.

"They're not paying for it." Grandma Mazur stated.

I looked back at my mom with eyebrows raised. My mother signed and patted my hand, "While you were in St. Francis your father and I had to take on extra jobs to pay for your hospital bills." Boy, did I feel guilty. "St. Francis wanted to send you to a nursing home in Trenton. We weren't very happy about the idea, and then we were approached by the Griffin Foundation that offered to pay for your care. The only stipulation was that you had to move here to Brentwood. After your father and I had an opportunity to look everything over, we agreed to have you sent here."

I started to feel tired and my mom and grandmother wished me a goodnight and left me to ponder all that has happened. I knew without a doubt something was up about this foundation and neither my mother nor grandmothers were going to clue me in. I was going to get to the bottom of it, I hate not know what is going on.

For several days I endured tests upon tests, to determine if I had suffered any lasting damage from being shot in the head. I would love to say I came away without anything devastatingly wrong, I wasn't that lucky. After the MRI, Dr. Fadden said there was scaring on some of my brain, stating that for the rest of my life I would have to take Trileptal to prevent Pedi moll seizures. Not as bad a grand moll, but not great either. I needed to be retrained on my fine and gross motor skills, so I was scheduled to two hours of physical therapy three times a week with a overly muscled guy named Dawson. Good news was that I had no lasting damage to any of my five senses. What I thought was sucky, was that since I had been in a coma for a year, I hadn't had solid foods and I had lost weight and muscle mass. This meant, I was on a special diet to help me gain muscle bulk, my diet was in the hands of a perky woman named Mary Ann, who I termed the food Nazi.

Every day my mother would come and visit with me and each time she would hold my hand, I think she was trying to convince herself that I was really awake and wouldn't disappear on her. I had visits from my Dad and I had spent a heartfelt time with Val, we talked a lot and we cried together. I think this had made us closer and for that I am glad. Mary Lou had come and she managed to bring me a meatball sub from Pino's, unfortunately Mary Ann marched in and snatched the food right out of my hands. She's lucky I didn't stab her with my fork. I've been in a coma for a year, let me live a little for Gods sake.

Yet, during this whole time the two people I really wanted to see most remained missing and this did not sit well with me.

It was three weeks after my 'Awakening' that Joe finally paid me a visit. I had been dozing in my bed when I heard a light knocking at my door and Joe peeked his head into the room. God, he looked good. His hair for once was trimmed and he was wearing jeans, and a loose T-shirt with a pullover.

"Is it a good time to come in?" He asked as he surveyed the room.

I gave him a big smile and waved him in, "Pull up a seat." As he came in I noticed right off that Joe was wearing his cop face, and that was never a good sign.

He cleared his throat and attempted to smile at me, "Hear you're doing well, Stephanie." He said Stephanie, not Cupcake. Sure, I've been out for a year but we're together, right? What happened to us?

"Hey, could be worse, it will be a while still before I can be out and about again. I hear you made Lieutenant, congratulations." I said to Joe.

"Thanks, I just wanted to come down and make sure you have everything you need. I wasn't sure if your mother had told you that I took Rex."

"Yeah, she did. I appreciate that, how is Bob?"

"Good, good. Still eats everything though," Joe shifted in his seat and looked past me to the window.

I shifted on the bed and wondered why this conversation was so stiff and well not us. No flirting, no touching, not even restrained hostility. What the hell!

"Listen, Stephanie there is no good way to tell you this," he ran his left hand through his hair and that's when I spotted it. A ring! A gold wedding band, I knew for a fact that we had not gotten married before I was shot. Joe noticed that I had zeroed in on his wedding ring, "Shit."

"You're married!"

TBC . . . ..


	4. Chapter 4: Bitter Medicine

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine._

Bitter Medicine 

By, Elissahara30

"_Listen, Stephanie there is no good way to tell you this," he ran his left hand through his hair and that's when I spotted it. A ring! A gold wedding band, I knew for a fact that we had not gotten married before I was shot. Joe noticed that I had zeroed in on his wedding ring, "Shit."_

"_You're married!"_

"How long?" I tried to restrain my anger, as I clutched the sheets of my bed.

"What?"

"How long have you been married?" My voice took on an accusatory tone.

"Two months," Joe looked away and refused to look at me. "Her name's Janis and she was one of your nurses in the ICU department." My chest seized up and my gut was hot with pain.

I had really fooled myself, thinking this whole time that Joe was just letting my family have time with me, that he wanted us to be alone. That he never stopped loving me that he had waited for me. We spent three years together off and on and the moment I'm out of the way, he gets married!

The bitterness was thick in my voice, "If it was you that had been shot, I would have waited."

He gave me the look that said 'Sure, and I have a bridge I can sell you', the bastard. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you are, god Joe, you had so little faith in me, and . . . and you hook up with my nurse," tears started making tracks down my face. "Did you ever think I would get better?"

"You were shot in the head, what was I to do? You have no idea, Stephanie what hell I went through. I was losing grip big time, I was almost suspended from the force. Janis stepped in when I really needed someone, and she helped me put my life back together." He stood up and started pacing the room, then turned back at me. "True, I was shocked when I learned you had woke up, Stephanie. And I agonized over what to tell you, and I'm happy you're alive and whole. I still love you its just I had move past you before I destroyed myself."

I don't think I ever felt so betrayed, when I had caught Dickie cheating on me with Joyce on our dinning room table, I didn't feel as wronged as I do now. Dickie had broken faith in our marriage. Joe had broken faith with my heart.

I turned my back on Joe, "I think you should leave."

He stood up and walked out of the room and out of my life. What had started when I was six ended when I was thirty-four. When the door clicked home, I felt the vibration deep down in my body. Click, such a simple noise. Click, that's what ended nearly thirty years of longing, fighting, flirting, really great sex and love. Click and one of the doors that I had hesitated to walk through closed. Never to open for me again. I lay in my bed and mourned all of the 'what ifs'.

I had a fitful nights sleep and I felt heavy and worn out. I buried my feelings deep into denial land. If I didn't face it, then well I wouldn't have to feel the pain. Works for me. It was around nine the next day that Dawson came into my room. If he had noticed my puffy face he didn't say a word. Hell being here, I couldn't wear my make up like I wanted to do, I felt like I was naked everyday. If I was able I would have applied four coats of mascara. And let's not even talk about the hair.

"Rise and shine beautiful, the day's a wasting." Dawson walked across my room and threw open the drapes. He put his hands on his hips as he survey the grounds. "I think today, you are going to be working the leg weights."

I flipped him off, even though his back was to me. I felt crappy and there was no way in hell I was going to subject myself to weights. "Why don't we work on me trying to pick up the little rings instead?"

He turned to me and gave me a toothy grin, "Nope, not today. Now do you think you can get yourself dressed or would you like me to get Mary Ann?"

Hell no, Mary Ann was evil, and way to damn cheery all the time. Nope, not gonna happen. I gave Dawson my best fake smile I could muster, "I can dress myself. Give me some time okay?" After I spent a horrid fifteen minutes maneuvering myself into a t-shirt and sweats I called for Dawson.

He walked in and fetched my shoes, and put them on my feet. He handed me my breakfast of egg whites and protein drink, blah. He then pushed my wheel chair over to the bed and I worked to get myself into it. He took me out of my room and pushed me down to the occupational therapy room. To me it looked like a giant kids play room. There were giant balls, and a weight room section. There were specialized swings and gray hanging wraparounds that the autistic patients used during their therapy sessions. There was also an area for fine motor skills. A book dealing with tying strings together, beading, and picking up small objects.

Dawson rolled me over to the automatic legs lifts, I had only used the machine once before and experience was right up there with bikini waxes and root canals. He lifted me up and sat me down in the specialized seating. He then strapped my legs into the leg lifts, he looked at me briefly before adjusting the ankle straps, "So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Huh? "Nothing's wrong."

He gave me another look before he went to program the weight strength, he then selected the number of reps and the machine started to slowly raise me legs. He pulled up a stool and sat down next to me. We sat in silence for about three sets of reps, when he took in a deep breath and then turned towards me and said. "Holding in all that anger will not help you get better."

I shot him a dark look, "I'm not angry."

"Bullshit, when I saw that guy leave your room last night, I knew it wasn't going to be good." Dawson then reset the machine from automatic to manual resetting the weight strength to 1 pound. He then leaned in real close to me and said softly, "You need to burn it out, before you are set back. Now tell me."

I turned my head away and said nothing, I was not going to have this conversation and I defiantly wasn't going to have it with him.

"Ignore me all you want Stephanie, but you are not going to get out of that chair until you at least attempt to move your legs."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I shot back at him, giving him my best 'Burg glare.

"Move your damn legs and then you can yell at me."

Argh! I looked back at my legs and managed a weak, four inch lift before my legs fell back down. Then I lifted my legs again another inch, then again for another inch. And each time my legs slammed back down I started to really get pissed. Who the hell was this guy and why was he being such a jerk. Wasn't he there to help me get my strength back? Damn him, fuck, and damn the whole fuckin' male race. Sweat started forming on my face as I struggled to lift my legs, another inch and another fall back.

"I fuckin' hate you." I ground out to Dawson.

"Why?" He challenged.

"Because men are assholes," lift, then slam, "They take and take and never once consider the damage they are doing." Lift and slam, "that I lost a year of my life and no one seems to care" Lift and slam, "that someone I loved didn't love me enough to wait." Lift and slam, "That I feel so alone and it's killing me." Lift and slam, "that maybe I should have just died and everyone could be so fuckin' happy." Lift and slam, "That the other man in my life hasn't come to me yet and it terrifies the hell of me." Lift and slam, "and who in the hell jumps into a marriage when your girlfriend hasn't even been in a coma for a full year." When my legs dropped again, I started to cry in giant ugly heaving sobs.

Dawson took my hand and turned my face towards him, "life sometimes kicks us so hard we want to just give up. I don't know this guy and if it would make you feel any better I'd kick his ass." He sighed heavily, "You have so much spirit Stephanie, don't let this stop you."

I leaned into him and cried until I started hiccupping. I was so out of it I didn't even realize that Dawson moved me from the machine to the table, where he hooked up the electrodes that massaged my sore leg muscles. I was so warn out that I drifted off to sleep.

I'm not sure how or when I got back to my room, but when I opened my eyes again it was around lunch time. Right on cue, Mary Ann rolled her cart into the room giving me a bright smile. I glowered back at her.

"How are we today?" She asked in that syrupy sweet voice.

Eat shit and die, "Fine."

"Oh, come on now. Let's turn that frown upside down." She took her two pointer fingers swirled her fingers along her own smile. I was starting to long for my stun gun; my fingers inched as I imagined giving her a zap. The thought brought a slight smile to my face. "Now, see don't you feel better." _If you only knew._

She put my domed covered plate on my tray with a flourish, and she removed to the top with a "Ta-da."

I looked at my plate in dismay, there was this grayish stuff that I couldn't put a name to, plus steamed squash, carrots and broccoli, and white fish with a wedge of lemon on top. "Oh, yum," I said sarcastically.

Mary Ann started bouncing on the balls of her feet, "I brought you an extra special treat today!"

Oh goody, I nodded my head at her as I started eating my very bland meal. Then I sat back as Mary Ann put a plate of silver dollar sized green globs. She noticed my look of complete confusion. "I brought you blue green algae snack bites."

Ewww, I was not going to eat pond scum. I looked up at the ceiling praying that god would come and strike me down. She gave me one more smile before she wheeled her cart to her next victims, I mean patients.

I looked at my food again with disgust as I took one small bite of the algae stuff. The taste burned on my tongue and I started making, "ack, ack" noises. I was trying to throw the green globs in the waste basket by my bed that I didn't notice that my door opened, again.

Then I heard the voice of the one person I desperately wanted to hear from, "Babe."

TBC . . .

_A/N: I have ate the blue green algae stuff and yeah, not good._


	5. Chapter 5: Of Seduction and Donuts

Disclaimer: The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine.

This is for all the Babes.

Of Seduction and Donuts By, Elissahara30

I looked at my food again with disgust as I took one small bite of the algae stuff. The taste burned on my tongue and I started making, "ack, ack" noises. I was trying to throw the green globs in the waste basket by my bed that I didn't notice that my door opened, again. 

Then I heard the voice of the one person I desperately wanted to hear from, "Babe."

I slowly turned around and looked at Ranger, my breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. He was wearing his work cloths, his black T-shirt that looked tattooed on his body and he was wearing his black SWAT cargo pants. I then looked up and me his intense gaze. And like a sharp electrical current I felt my heart beat rapidly, with nervousness.

He slowly walked into the room, not once taking his eyes off me, and I watched him pace for pace. When he stopped beside my bed, he slowly raised his hand and softly touched my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch and I felt all at once, safe and wanted. I opened my eyes again watched as he sat down by my bed. I had so many questions to ask him, but I was afraid of the answers. Please Lord, I don't think I could handle it if he too rejected me and had moved on.

"So, how is the security business?" I asked as I nervously picked at my food.

"Good, but I've been out of the country for almost six months." His eyes seemed inward as if remembering things best left unsaid. "Recently I have been in my Boston offices working on upgrading our servers to handle new clients. We starting to provide fire wall systems against hackers especially geared at looking for personal information. We're trying to catch persons in the act of identity theft."

Before I was shot and in my coma Ranger had been a victim of identity theft by a psycho who wanted to become Ranger. "Awfully high tech."

"World's changing, gotta keep up with the times, Babe." He moved his hand, so he was lightly touching my arm, I felt comforted by the fact he was still acting like the Ranger I remembered.

We were silent again when something occurred to me, "I thought you were selling your Boston branch of RangeMan."

He seemed to weigh what he wanted to say, "Things change."

I had a feeling that the 'things' were, was my getting shot and being transferred here to Brentwood, Massachusetts. Hmmm, I wonder how far Brentwood was from Boston, something for me to think about later.

"I'm glad you came, I saw Joe yesterday." I looked down at my tray, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Morelli is an ass, and he never deserved you."

Startled, I looked at Ranger sharply, but I couldn't tell what he was really thinking. Ranger had his blank face firmly set. I sighed heavily. "Yeah, life must go on."

Then my stomach gave an unholy growl interrupting our conversation. Ranger quirked an eye brow at me and I gave him an embarrassed smile. "It's the horrid food they feed me here. I always feel like I'm going hungry." I pointed to my tray and also showed him the one green glob that I hadn't managed to get into the trash "this is my special treat."

Ranger grabbed if off the plate and popped it into his mouth, "Blue green algae snack bites."

"You're a sick, sick man." Feeling very unhappy I started picking at my lunch again.

Ranger gave me another one of his evaluating looks, "You're not eating enough."

I dropped my fork and turned my attention to Ranger, "Ever since I had woken up, I had to eat simple, bland and boring nasty food." I frowned, "I miss home, and Pino's and Pineapple Upside-down cake, and Boston Creams from the Tasty Pastry. I'd eat more if I had something worth eating, hell even if I could have proper desert I'd eat more of this bland crap."

"It's geared to help you gain your strength." Ranger pointed out.

I gave Ranger my version of the 'Look' and he quirked that damn eyebrow at me again. Then seemingly making his mind up about something he stood up, my mouth dropped open I was so startled. What I'd do? He just can't leave for goodness sakes.

He seemed to catch my panic when he said, "I'll be back in a couple of hours." And he was out the door.

I think I laid there for ten minutes before my shock turned to anger. That's it men are pigs. I was steaming mad when my door opened again a half hour later the orderly came to take my lunch plates away followed by a female CNA that I didn't know came in carrying a bag and a white box.

She smiled at me, "My names Clair and these things were brought for you. I'm to help you wash your hair and get you ready for a date."

A date? What date? And with whom? But once I checked out the contents of the bag, I wanted to sing. It had makeup and hair care products and a brand new shaver. My legs had become a forest and I had been unable to do anything about it. I eagerly maneuvered myself into my wheel chair. Even though I needed assistance in the shower I was starting to feel more like myself. I had to have help with the makeup, since my hands refused to hold steady and Clair was very handy with the curlers. Then I came to the box, I opened it and noticed a lovely black top with a flowing lavender skirt. Wow! There was even a pair of cute black pumps. A conservative heel, but hey I wasn't going to be standing anytime soon. 

After I was showered, shaved, moisturized and properly made up and dressed, I was awaiting my date. Clair left and about fifteen minutes later my door opened again and Dawson came in. He gave me a very appraising look, than cleared his throat, "I'm to escort you to your date, Madame." I gave him my best award winning smile, as we wheeled out of my room.

He led me down the corridor and out the back door to the garden. It was lovely even in fall. The leaves were turning a golden color and the reds, purples and orange mums looked magnificent. I really hadn't been outside my room other than therapy sessions, so going out now felt wonderful. The breeze was light and warm; we were having, a nice Indian summer this year.

In the middle of a secluded part of the garden was a blanket and picnic basket, standing by the blanket was Ranger, dressed in a soft gray t-shirt and faded blue jeans. I was dumb struck; he did all this for me? Ranger stepped forward and took over pushing my chair the rest to the way. He then gently lifted me out of the chair and set me down on the blanket. I eyed the picnic basket and hopped there some really good food inside.

Ranger sat down next to me and opened the basket and pulled out grilled chicken on angel hair pasta with vegetables. He then proceeded to feed me each bite. I couldn't help the moans that escaped me then. For something that undoubtedly had to be healthy tasted like heaven. I sipped sparkling grape juice, because I couldn't indulge in alcohol any more because of the medications I was taking. After I finished my pasta and chicken he then brought out some strawberries and cream and proceeded to feed me bite for bite. Our eyes met as I licked a drop of cream from my lips. His eyes darkened, as he watched me.

When I thought my meal couldn't get any better, he pulled out a bag from the basket that looked very much like a bakery bag. "I couldn't find a Tasty Pastry shop here but I was able to find a Krispy Kreme. Will that be okay with you?"

Oh, yeah. That was more than okay with me. Ranger handed me the donut and I tore it in two pieces under Ranger's watchful gaze, the chocolate icing and glaze breaking like frost, the tender pastry pulling apart in shreds. I licked my lips in anticipation as I slowly brought the donut piece to my mouth and bit into it. "Oh, God," I moaned as I felt my whole body melt into the sensation of eating my first donut in over a year.

I felt more than saw Ranger shift a little closer to me; I opened my eyes and looked at him, "Would you like a bite?"

"No, watching you is more than enough for me." He said huskily.

I leaned closer to him and whispered in my best seductive voice, "Come on, sin a little."

"Babe, I have sinned plenty in my day." His eyes tracked my hands as I slowly bit into another piece of my donut, my head falling back on my shoulders as I let out another shameful moan. 

"This is a chocolate-iced Krispy Kreme glazed. This is the caviar of donuts, the Dom Perigon of Donuts, the Mercedes-Benz of Donuts." The wind came up and blew my skirt a little and Ranger moved his knee to prevent my skirt from blowing all around. I slowly brought the donut up and brushed the chocolate frosting against his mouth. I watched intently as he licked the icing off his lips. I wanted to taste those lips, too.

I offered him more and he shook his head no, "Your telling me no, but your eyes are telling me yes." He opened his mouth and leaned forward to my outstretch hand, I watched him bite into the donut, his lips briefly closing over my fingers, his tongue swirling around my sensitive finger tips. There was some chocolate icing on his lips and I leaned forward and licked it off. I leaned in and kissed him, tasting the chocolate and the heat of his mouth, and he kissed me back making me loose all coherent thought. I let the taste and the scent of him wash over me, I was starting to drown in him it was so intense. When he pulled back I leaned into him trying to catch my breath. Oh, how I have missed him.

"I've missed you too," he whispered against my ear. Ranger's eyes were dark as chocolate, and I felt a little panicked, when Ranger fed me a piece of donut. The heat of my mouth dissolved the icing as I closed my eyes, and the tang went everywhere, melting into pleasure. And when I opened my eyes he was there.

He leaned forward and kissed me softly, his mouth fitting against mine so perfectly that I trembled. I tasted the heat of him and licked the chocolate off his lip and felt his tongue against mine, hot and devastating, and when he broke the kiss, I was breathless and dizzy and aching for more. He held my eyes, looking as dazed as I felt.

"More," I breathed, and he reached for another donut, but I said, "No, you," and grabbed his shirt to pull him closer and he shifted closer to me. He kissed me hard this time, his hand on the back of my head, sliding up into my curls, and I fell against him, feeling glitter explode behind my eyes. I felt his hand on my waist, sliding hot under my shirt, and my blood surged, and in a rush in my head said, "Oh, yes."

He backed away abruptly making me fall against the blanket, he grabbed me firmly and righted me as he answered his phone with a terse, "Yo." 

I watched intently as his whole demeanor changed from passionate to very alert. "When," he barked and he seemed to grow more intense as he listened to what was being said on the phone. "Why wasn't I informed?" He grunted some more, "Keep me up to date." He closed his phone and turned his dark gaze to me.

I knew what he had to tell me was not good, and I was right. "Steve Bulisco, your ex-brother-in-law escaped prison."

I felt my chest construct, and my vision start to darken, sensing my fear, Ranger pulled me into him holding me firmly, "I've got you," he said into my hair. Then I fell into sobs knowing indeed that Ranger had me and wouldn't really let me fall.

After I had time to calm down, I looked up at Ranger intently, "What are we going to do?" Then another thought struck me, "what about Val and the girls?"

"I have it taken care of, don't worry about it. I'm going to have one of my men here to keep a watch just in case Bulisco thinks to come here."

"Do you think that's necessary?" I hated when he had to waste his money trying to protect me.

He touched my face, and then he tucked a stray curl behind my ear, "I think you're necessary." My breath caught in throat how intense he was being. This was very different from before.

I shivered a little as our warm day turned to evening, our light breeze started to become brisk and chili. Ranger picked me up and carried me back to my wheel chair. He wheeled me back to room and helped me into my night things. He tucked me into bed.

"I've got to go, Babe." He leaned forward and kissed me again, with sweet tenderness. He pulled back, and his eyes took me all in, like he was trying to memorize me in every detail. And then like that he was gone.

Hours later I awoke disorientated and aware that something was not right. All the little hairs on my arm stood on end. I looked around the dim light of my room, and then I spotted someone sitting in one of my arm chairs on the other side of my room. With a voice that made my blood turn to ice said, "Welcome back Stephanie."

TBC . . . . 


	6. Chapter 6: Don't choose a book

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine._

Don't Choose a Book by its Cover 

By, Elissahara30

_Hours later I awoke disorientated and aware that something was not right. All the little hairs on my arm stood on end. I looked around the dim light of my room, and then I spotted someone sitting in one of my arm chairs on the other side of my room. With a voice that made my blood turn to ice said, "Welcome back Stephanie."_

My heart started pounding and black dots danced before my eyes. I tried to focus on the dark form across from me. I had to remind myself to breathe and I started to tremble from head to toe. I shakily forced myself to sit up in the bed. I had no way to escape if he truly wanted to harm me and that thought was more frightening than him being here.

He switched on the lamp by his chair, and the light cascaded across his face adding deep shadows. Prison hadn't been kind for Steve, but considering Steve had never had to live a hard life until recently, it wasn't surprising. His hair was long, past his shoulders, he had a beard, but it was the eyes that made me shiver. There was a darker calculation in them, almost as he was looking at me like a frog to be dissected. "What no 'Hello' to your brother-in-law, I'm hurt Stephanie."

Yeah, I bet, "What are you doing here?" The adrenaline was pumping through me now making me feel very reckless. Baiting him in anyway probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I didn't want him to know how terrified I was.

"I want you to do something for me?" He smiled at me, his teeth gleamed in the lamp light, making the contrast with the shadows menacing.

I involuntarily shivered again as I thought, 'Oh, yeah sure. I do favors for psychos all the time'. "What makes you think I'll do anything for you?" I asked out loud.

He leaned forward in the chair, clasping his hands together, and elbows on knees. He rested his chin on his hands. Steve spent time just looking at me, I resisted the urge to squirm in my bed. "Your friend Ranger isn't the only one with Partners."

I felt my heart stutter at this pronouncement, and I had to fight to breathe again. One thought kept running through my mind, 'Where the hell were Ranger's MEN!' It wasn't like him to let someone get by on his watch. And then there were these partners that Steve mentioned. I didn't know who Ranger's partners were, but I had my theories. And all of them pointed to the US Government. It made me wonder who Steve was partners with. I felt another involuntary shiver, trickle down my spine.

"I'm not exactly in a position just to get up and out of this place." I pointed out to him, hoping he could see that I was not the right person to rely on.

"While I was in prison, I heard some very interesting stories about you. I have a feeling that you're resourceful enough to figure out a way. Now, I want you to retrieve something from my dear ex-wife."

My mind raced as I thought all the things that Valerie could have that Steve wanted, a bag of cash, no, Val would have used that a long time ago, a key code for a Swiss account, some locker key that held a secret stash, "What?"

"I need you to retrieve a book." Yeah, that would have my next guess, along with the frying pan.

"I go get this book for you, what's to prevent you from killing me and my family?" I really did need to think before I opened my mouth. I did a few mental knuckle crunches and worked on steadying my breathing. Focus on the goal, and that goal was to keep myself from harm.

"Let's just say I view you and me even. I lost a year of my life in prison; you lost a year in a coma. You help me, I'll forget about Valerie and my girls. You screw me over, I'll kill you, and your fuckin' sister and I'll take my girls and disappear. We understand each other?" He leaned forward in his chair and his look was so intense I had to look away.

I closed my eyes briefly, and wondered if I would really do this. "You're sure Valerie still has this book?" Valerie didn't come back with much from her life in California, and the thought that she kept some book seemed too much to hope.

"Oh, she has it. She's not nearly as naive as she plays to be." He chuckled darkly, "I got that information out of her before you showed up. I have time to let you get stronger, I'll give you another month then I'll be in contact with the drop information" He stood up and walked closer to the bed, I couldn't help the flinch that came over me as he approached. This made his smile wider; he leaned in real close to me, his breath hot against my ear, "If you're good, I might get you donuts too." He then opened the door and slid out, making no noise.

I started panicking again, my heart pounded and I felt so dirty. I couldn't hold in the sobs as the racked through my strained body. I felt very uneasy about this whole situation, deep down my instincts were screaming that there was so much more going on here than just some book. I wondered again about the partners Steve had mentioned. Where they dangerous enough to really cause Ranger problems? I really hoped not, even after being in a coma for a year the crazies still found me. My life just sucked.

I think I managed to calm down again and fall into a fitful sleep around 5:00 am when about 2 hours later my door swung open and little miss merry hell, waltzed right in.

"Good Morning!" Mary Ann sang.

"Ungh," I buried my head deeper into my pillow. I should have remembered to ask Ranger for his gun. I could have gotten rid of Mary Ann. Can murdering someone for being too perky be used as a reasonable means in a court of law? After the night I had I would think it would have been justified.

"Come on sleepy head, I have low fat vanilla yogurt with wheat germ for you. Yum, yum!" She set the bowl on my tray, with my morning protein shake and sailed out of the room again.

I slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position, and as I made myself eat my breakfast, I thought about what I was going to do to get out of here. Even if Steve hadn't come to threaten me, I really was tired of being here. I missed home, thinking about home made me think about my apartment. I had been in a coma for a year that means I no longer had a home of my own. And the thought of living with my parents made me wearily sad.

"Deep thoughts Babe," Ranger said as he walked in the room.

I looked over at him with a frown, "Where am I going to live?"

He stopped and seemed to be thinking about what I asked, "Isn't it a little early for you thinking about where you're going to live?"

I debated about whether or not I should tell Ranger about my late night visitor. I trusted Ranger with my life, and I even loved him, but I didn't want him to handle me. Joe was famous for trying to handle me, Ranger on occasion tried, but he knew when to back off. I looked at Ranger for a long moment, "Steve paid me a visit last night."

I've seen the many faces of Ranger; I've seen him in the 'zone', amused, that slight smile, blank faced working Ranger, his 200 watt smile, wolf grin, and I've seen him control his anger face and then this _face_. This was the dangerous face, and it made me shiver. I felt very sorry for whoever was on guard duty last night, because I think Ranger was going to kick his ass and fire him. "Did he hurt you?"

I turned my head away from Ranger, "No, but he wanted me to get something for him."

I could feel the tension like a physical presence in the room with us. He walked up to the bed and then very tenderly Ranger touched my face, he took my chin and turned my face toward him. His looked was controlled, but his eyes spoke volumes at how much this affected him. It took my breath away. "I'm okay, really."

He leaned forward and kissed me so softly, brushing his hand against the scar on my hairline. His finger traced the path, so softly, "I never want to lose again."

This moved me deeply for Ranger was not one to openly admit to his feelings, and even though it wasn't some long speech of undying love, I felt it soul deep. Softly I said, "I promise not to get lost."

His lips lingered against my cheek, brushing back and forth gently. I closed my eyes and absorbed his presence. He pulled back from me, and he knew I understood his unspoken words. "What did Steve want you to retrieve?"

I sighed and opened my eyes to look at Ranger, "Steve wanted me to get a book from Valerie, and he'd contact me in a month for where I was to 'drop' the book. He said if I didn't get the book he'd kill Val and take the girls." I couldn't help biting my lower lip, the stress was really making me feel overly tired.

Ranger sat back on the chair beside my bed and processed the information I told him, he then gave me an evaluating look, "If you leave here, I want you to stay safe, and I feel you'd be safest if you're with me." Oh, I was so starting to feel handled and that it was pissing me off. Ranger noticed my dark look and raised his hand to forestall my fury. "You need physical therapy, and kept on the special diet to gain strength. My buildings come with a full gym; I can make the modifications necessary to meet your needs. You would be safe and _we_ will get the book for Steve."

I knew from past experience never to argue with Ranger, he still did what he wanted to do anyway. He also knew as well, that if I wanted out of his buildings and security, I'd find a way. And I must admit he said _we_, not I. "So, when will you spring me from this place?" I gave him my best innocent expression.

Even though the situation was undoubtedly serious, I could see the exasperated amusement on his face. He took out his cell phone and left the room, already making plans for getting me out of Brentwood. He then came back in about 15 minutes later and said, "Ready to come home."

TBC . . . .

A/N So very sorry for the short chapter – the last week was a bad one and so I couldn't sit and think of anything to right for the longest time. Sigh.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I hope you'll stay tuned for the next installment of To Have Lost.


	7. Chapter 7: Life Interrupted

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine._

Life Interrupted 

By, Elissahara30

"_On the sands of life sorrow treads heavily, and leaves a print time cannot wash away." –H. Neele._

Home, finally after nine months I was home. Even though most of that time I had been in a coma, I think subconsciously I was aware that I was not home. I couldn't wait to be at my mother's dinner table and eat post roast with pineapple upside down cake. I was looking forward to going to Stiva's with my grandmother, and being a lookout so she could peek into the coffin. I was drooling over going to Pino's for pizza and meat ball subs. Going shopping at Macy's with Mary Lou or Lula, and most importantly having my life again.

I sat in the passenger seat and took in all the traffic; I knew I had a silly smile on my face but I didn't care. Ranger was driving us from the Airport back to his building on Haywood Street. I longed to see everyone who couldn't make it to Brentwood to see me. Who knew I would miss Trenton so much.

As we pulled into the underground parking lot, I felt butterflies swarm in my stomach. This is it, this will be home. I alternated between being thrilled and on the verge of vomiting. I let out a little sigh as I thought it again, _Home_.

Ranger pulled into one of his spaces, and turned off the SUV. He turned to me, "Ready?"

_NO!_ "Sure." Liar, liar pants on fire.

Ranger's lips twitched in his half smile, as he leaned close to me. His knuckles brushed my cheek and he kissed me softly. Mmm, I could get used to that. He pulled back and got out of the truck going back and taking out my wheel chair. I hated the wheelchair, but I could only manage five steps without needing a nap. He then came around and opened my door, he looked at me again and I swore he had to mentally shake himself. I maneuvered myself into my chair and Ranger wheeled me to the underground elevator, I did a little finger wave at the security camera. No need to be rude to the guys in the control room.

Ranger used his remote and we rode the elevator up to the seventh floor and using his key, he opened the door. We wheeled into the foyer, and into the living room. Everything still looked the same, and I wasn't surprised. Ranger hadn't been here for almost a whole year either.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

I smiled at him, "Does Ella still work here?" He nodded his head yes and I smiled even bigger. "I will gladly have whatever she is making for dinner. Healthy or no, I'm starving."

Ranger walked over to his intercom and buzzed Ella, and while he ordered our dinner I looked around his apartment again. I wondered how I'll really fit into living here. Once this mess with Steve is past me, and I am stronger and more independent, I should look into getting my own apartment again. I can't just keep living off the people I know.

I took the wheels into my hands and wheeled myself to the bathroom, I was panting by the time I got there. I was shocked to see that Ranger had installed hand rails in here. There were rails on around the toilet and a shower chair and rails in the shower. A lump started to form in my throat; I couldn't believe he was doing this all for me.

I took care of business and I wheeled myself back into the front as Ella was setting up for dinner in the dinning room. She looked at me and gave me a watery smile. "I am so happy to see you are doing better, dear." She then came up to me and bent down to place a hand on my shoulder, "You were in my prayers." She then bid us goodbye.

I didn't know Ranger's housekeeper very well, but I was deeply touched by her words. Then I looked up and met Ranger's gaze, "Ready to eat," he said quietly.

If I didn't know better, I'd think Ella words had struck a cord with him too. "Yes," I said back just as quietly.

He walked forward and wheeled my chair to the table. He lifted off the silver plate covering and I in hailed deeply. On my plate was Golden baked fish encrusted in parmesan cheese, a side of cooked brown and wild rice and eight spears of steamed asparagus with a spritz of lemon. I took in my first bite and it was so heavenly. After eating the 'healthy' from Brentwood, I had a better appreciation for healthy with flavor. I was so ravenous that I ate it all scraping my plate for the very last drop. I looked up and noticed Ranger's amused expression on his face.

"What!" I demanded.

"I'm glad that you are doing better." He then checked the time on his watch, "You should get settled down for the night. I have to go down to the control room and check in; also I need to verify that your doctor and physical therapist will both be here in a couple of days."

I wanted to argue with him that I was not a child and didn't need a bed time, but my body betrayed me by letting out a huge yawn. Then another thought occurred to me, "I don't have any cloths here."

"I had Ella pick some things up for you; they should be in the dressing room." Ranger than wheeled me into the bedroom. "Can you manage on your own?"

I nodded my head and he exited the room and he most likely headed to the fifth floor control room. I wheeled myself over to the dressing room and let myself in, and I just stopped and stared. Instead of expecting a nice stack of cloths on the bench they were hung and up and when I opened the drawers they were there too. When I opened the drawer that I knew held Ranger's black boxers, there were pajamas for me. For a man that protested not having a life conducive to relationships, things like this and the modifications to the bathroom indicated to me something very different. I truly hope I wasn't setting myself up for false expectations.

I slowly became aware of my surroundings as I woke up the next morning. I was in Ranger's bed, feeling incredibly comfy. I was wrapped in Ranger's arms, my head tucked under his chin. I inhaled his scent and reveled in the fact that for once, I can enjoy this and not feel guilty. I sighed in contentment.

Ranger tightened his hold on me and kissed me on the head. "I have to go and finish up on some paperwork."

I snuggled deeper into him and I turned and brushed a kiss against his lips, "Stay with me." I whispered.

I heard him moan deep in his throat, "As much as that really, really sounds good I have to get to work," He kissed me back, "But keep that in mind for later." He then rolled over and got out of the bed. He went into his dressing room. After about ten minutes Ranger came back out dressed in his tight black t-shirt, black cargo pants and he was carrying his black boots. He sat down in a chair next to me and proceeded to lace up his boots. He then looked over at me, "I should be free before lunch, and we could swing by your sister's house to see if we can locate this book."

"We'll stop for lunch, right?" Thoughts of Pino's pizza floated through my head, making me smile with anticipation.

Ranger lips twitched with his slight smile, "I have a feeling that look has nothing to do with me."

I focused my attention back to him, "What look."

"Babe," he then kissed me before he left for work.

I lay in the bed just luxuriating in the feel of Ranger's amazing sheets, and the scent of Bulgari. I was about to drift back to sleep when my stomach growled loudly. Time to make myself get out of bed, and I wondered if I was up to getting myself up and ready without assistance. I think if I really needed it, Ella would come up and help me. I managed to get myself changed and in the bed last night, now to prove I was gaining more independence by getting myself ready for today.

It took me about an hour and a half to get out of bed, showered, dressed and properly done up for the day. I was tired and ready for a nap, but I was proud that I managed all on my own. Then I wheeled myself out to the dinning room and ate my breakfast with gusto.

I had spent my morning flipping through the channels on Ranger's Plasma TV. When around 11:30 the lock tumbled and the door opened. Ranger stood there and looked at me with an appraising eye. "Looking good, Babe."

I couldn't help the blush the crept up my face, and he gave me his 200 watt smile as he entered the living room. "Ready to go?" I asked as I wheeled up to him.

He took the handles of my chair and wheeled me out of the apartment and into the elevator. We rode the elevator down and into the garage. He wheeled me his black SUV; he opened the passenger door and lifted me into the passenger seat. He leaned in and kissed me before he handed me the seatbelt. He pulled out the parking garage and headed for the 'Burg toward my sister's house.

After driving for about ten minutes, we arrived in front of my sister's home. I stared at the front door for a long time. This will be my first time I have been here since I had been shot. I didn't really think this would affect me so bad, but I began to feel dizzy.

"Babe?" Ranger leaned toward me and touched me face, he turned my face toward him, and said "You can do this. Focus on your goal, and that is finding the book. Nothing else matters."

That's the thing about Ranger; he has an ability to lock his emotions down. It was one ability that I severely lacked. I did the only thing I did well, and that was pretend that I was okay and being here did not have any power over me. I dredged up a smile for Ranger, "Okay, let's do this."

I could tell by the look he was giving me that he didn't quite think I was up to the task, but he didn't argue. He got of his side of the truck and took out my wheel chair. He wheeled it around to my door. After getting me settled in the chair we headed for the house. Ranger opened the door with a key, I didn't ask him where he got it, and he didn't volunteer either.

I didn't focus too much on front foyer, and once we were in the living room, I closed my eyes and worked on steadying my breathing. 'I could do this.' I told myself.

"Did Steve mention what kind of book he was looking for?" I shook my head no. "I'll start upstairs then. You'll be okay down here wont you?"

"Yes, go ahead." He headed for the stairs once he was gone out of my site; I slumped heavily in my chair. My hands started to tremble and tucked them under my arm pits. I looked around the room and briefly overlaid was the drama of that day so long ago. I closed my eyes and worked hard on grounding my feelings. _FOCUS_, that's what I had to do, if I was to find the book and get out of the house.

I opened my eyes and looked around the living room again. Valerie had two book cases on either side of the TV stand, and I wheeled my self to the first one. It held a few precisely placed nic naks, and a few novels. Nothing here screamed 'Mysterious Book Here.' So I moved onto the second book shelf. On the bottom shelf was a set of encyclopedias, and on the next shelf was a few law books. I was about to move away, when my eyes fell onto a very ornate wooded box. I reached out my hand I swear it tingled. I lifted the lid and on the inside looked like a very old journal. My instincts were saying 'this is it.' As I picked up the book Ranger came down the stairs.

"You found it?" I looked at Ranger and nodded my head. I found it indeed.

We were back in the truck and I had a grip on the box that held the book Steve Bulisco was looking for. "You want to head back to the apartment?"

I turned my attention back to Ranger, "Can we go the Pino's?"

He reached out his hand and tucked a stray curl behind my ear, "Anything for you Babe." Then he put the truck in gear and drove us to Pino's. I let the time wash over me as we drove. My stomach began to flutter again, as we pulled into the parking lot. It looked like the lunch crowd was thin. That was with for me; I didn't really want to deal with a lot of people right now. My nerves were more frayed than I realized.

Ranger had wheeled me back to the back booth. He helped me settle in a seat and he took the seat across from me. "Your looking a little pale, are you sure you're okay?"

Before I could answer I heard a hesitant, "Stephanie?"

I turned my head and looked up at Eddie Gazarra, he was one of my longest friends and married to my cousin Shirley the Whiner. He was also a Sergeant for the Trenton PD. I smiled up at and patted the seat next to me.

"Wow, Steph, it's so good to see you." He said as he slid into the booth next me.

"It's good to be seen." I said back to him flippantly.

His pale blue eyes looked very serious, "You scared the shit out of me. I came on scene after your niece called and when I went into that house." He swallowed very hard. "I am so glad you are okay."

I felt my eyes prickle with tears and I blinked rapidly to keep them back, "I'm sorry I scared you." I whispered.

Eddie hugged me to him hard, and then kissed the top of my head, "I have to get back to duty." He then turned and looked at Ranger, "You take good care of her."

Ranger inclined his head in acknowledgement, Eddie then patted my shoulder as he slid out of the booth. I was little shaken from my brief encounter with Eddie, maybe I should have waited before going out in public.

After a while I started to calm and Ranger and I ordered lunch. Once my pizza arrived I rediscovered heaven known only as Pino's pepperoni pizza. I think I might have had an orgasm after the first bite. I closed my eyes, and savored the heat from the pepperoni. I sat back and sighed. I looked up and Ranger who was watching me intently. I started to blush again. He gaze me his wolf grin. Oh, boy.

I was about to indulge into my second piece of heaven when someone I didn't know came to our booth. She was tall and willowy, her hair a honeycomb blond. Her eyes where aquamarine in color and she exuded confidence and perfection. She stopped and asked, "Are you Stephanie Plum?" I could tell she really didn't need to ask me that, she was just confirming facts.

"Yes," I said causiously. Ranger tensed in his seat and I looked beyond the woman and met the man behind her. Joe.

The woman stuck her hand in my face and said, "I wanted to introduce myself; I was one of your nurses in ICU. I'm Janis."

Like a sharp pinpoint I knew this was the very last I could take for the day. At first it was only tightness in my chest that soon spread to my arms, which burned like they were on fire. Then my legs began to spasm so bad that the muscles twitched and bulged. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't get enough air in my lungs to produce a sound. I felt my awareness stop and start as my head began to ache. I had lost control of my body and I started to panic which made the pain in my chest hurt worse.

I felt more than heard someone call for help, I wasn't even consciously aware that I was being lifted. I was losing connection and my vision refused to focus. I knew I wasn't alone, someone was holding me while another was rubbing the cramps from my limbs. After what felt like hours I became aware of my body again.

I opened my eyes and looked up to the dark concerned ones of Ranger. I don't think I had ever seen that look before. "Babe, can you hear me." He said quietly in my ear.

I focused my whole attention on him, willing him to know that I heard him; it was that my body deftly refused to respond to me. Ranger smoothed the hair out of my face and was talking to someone else; I was so out of it that I wasn't sure who it was. With a tenderness that I didn't realize he had, he lifted me up again carried me out of Pino's. I must have lost consciousness at some point because I slowly became aware that I was lying in bed. I woke up to comfortable warmth at my back. A strong secure arm around my waist, I turned my head slightly and made out Ranger's profile in the dim light. He opened his eyes and looked at me intensely, "Hey," I said hoarsely.

He rolled over and fetched a glass of water and helped me sip, once that was taken care of he eased me back down on the bed. He brushed a soft kiss against my forehead, "I want to back off doing a lot of activity. You can set yourself back if you don't."

I frowned up at him, "I'm tired of being helpless. God, I can't believe I had a panic attack over meeting Joe's wife. What a way to make an impression."

"Stephanie you were in a coma for a year. Your body needs time to get used to being mobile again." His eyes reflected his earlier worry, "The stress of going to your sister's house and then seeing Morelli's wife was too much. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

I moved my hand and touched his face, and Ranger put his warm hand over mine, "I'm sorry I worried you."

He closed his eyes briefly and I was aware that he was struggling to control his emotions, "I just want you to be safe and healthy."

"I know." We laid there for a long time just wrapped up in each other, I think he was confirming that I was still whole, and I was holding onto him so I wouldn't fall away from the world once more. I needed him to anchor me, I just needed him.

Sometime later, I awoke and I was alone in bed. I looked over to chair to my left and noticed the box with the book. I scooted myself to the end of the bed and reached for the box. I brought the box to the bed and opened the lid. I carefully took out the book. It looked like an old handwritten journal. As I opened the journal I read the first words and my breath caught in my throat;

_This is the Diary of Mary Elizabeth Chambers. A record of how I was murdered._

TBC . . . .


	8. Chapter 8: In the Pages of Time

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine._

In the Pages of TIme 

By, Elissahara30

_As I opened the journal I read the first words and my breath caught in my throat;_

_This is the Diary of Mary Elizabeth Chambers. A record of how I was murdered._

After I read the opening statement on the very first page, I was strangely disappointed in the journal. Here was a hundred year old accounting of a servant for a family for the Vances and who lived in Dedham, Massachusetts. Mary Elizabeth was the personal servant to the Vance's only daughter Emmaline. Pages upon pages that described the typed of duties she performed, of who came and when and most importantly, accountings of the suitors for Miss Emmaline Vance.

I was about ready to put the book down when, halfway through the journal I read an entry that made me take notice. It was dated:

_August 16, 1890_

_The house was full of excitement today. Martha the chamber maid was so excitable that Judd the head housekeeper had to keep her in the kitchens today. No need to embarrass the whole household. Someday Martha will learn. We were to have a visitor from Braintree, Massachusetts. A possible new suitor for Miss Emmaline. I wasn't very hopeful for this young man than I was for the others, Mister Vance was a very difficult man to please. I helped my dear Emma get ready; she wanted to make a good impression for she was afraid of growing too old before she found a husband._

_I wanted to scoff at the idea, for seventeen was no where near approaching too old, and here I am, according to her declarations, for too old to get married now. My poor Emma, twenty-five wasn't too old. Yet, alas I lack suitors of any sort I have no station in life other than being Emma's servant._

_And when Mister Vance came in the front door laughing and all joyful, I knew that maybe this man past the test. I was two steps behind Emma, as proper when he entered into the sitting room._

_I swore the temperature dropped and the hair on my arms stood on end. If evil had human form it would be this man. He was the devil. I do not know why it struck so, for he was handsome, and from what I heard in the servants' quarters, he was from a wealthy and titled family. He looked at everyone in the room, and when his eyes swept over mine, he smiled. A cold, calculating smile, and his eyes held a darkness that shook my knees._

_I prayed for my immortal soul, and that of my poor Emma, for I feared that Mister Vance had found the husband for her in this man. Gideon Dalmish. Dear Lord, if you hear me, please protect us. I know dark times are coming._

Her words shook me. I've known that kind of fear before. I closed my eyes as images of Benito Ramirez with his eyes flashed through my mind. There had been something about the density of his eyes, black holes where everything gets sucked in and nothing comes out, that suggested a hiding place for evil.1 Ramirez had left Lula, who was still a 'Ho on Stark Street at the time, naked, bloody and tied to my second floor fire escape. He had gone to prison for his involvement in a drug ring run by his boss Jimmy Alpha.

When Ramirez had been released from prison he had started stalking me. He wanted to take me to see Jesus. Ramirez had been shot to death by Allen Shempsky, when Shempsky had been in my apartment, to kill _me_ for digging into his skimming money from the mob.

Then there had been Eddie Abruzzi, I still bore the scars he left on my arm from his torturing me. If it hadn't been for Ranger helping Abruzzi commit 'suicide', I'm sure I would be dead now.

I shook away my dark thoughts as I put the book down, and my curiosity about Mary Elizabeth Chambers had sprung up to life. I closed the book and put it back in its box and I also wondered what value this book was to Steve. What secrets did it hold that he would risk escaping prison for? I heard the slight noise and looked up as Ranger entered the bedroom. It's amazing; it was like my earlier thoughts had conjured him.

I pointed the wooden box, "I read part of the journal and I don't understand what this means to Steve. It's a 100 year old personal journal."

Ranger leaned back against the dresser and crossed his arms; he raised his eyebrow at me. "Any theories?"

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, this was something Ranger and I understood. The hunt. I discovered that I loved the chase and the need to know everything; I just sucked at keeping myself out of trouble and away form the psychos. "I'm not sure yet, but I was wondering if Silvio could do some searches for me?"

Ranger gave me a contemplative look, "Why don't you use my office here and do the searches yourself."

If I could jump off the bed and tackle him, I would. Instead I settled for inching myself off the bed and with great determination I stood and wobbled my way to him. He caught me as I about to collapse on the floor. I smiled up at him, "So, when can I get started."

He gave me his half smile and scooped me up into his arms and carried back to the bed. He laid me down gently and kissed me hotly. When we became breathless, Ranger pulled back. His dark eyes looked down into my blue.

"Okay this works too," I said.

Ranger laughed softly as he smoothed my hair out of my face. "You need to meet with your doctor and physical therapist before you start working." He looked at his watch, "We have some time before we're scheduled to meet them." He then kissed me again, softer this time and I felt myself melt into the sheets.

The meeting with Dr. Goodwin, my neurologist here in Trenton, went as expected: Don't over do it, the body takes time to acclimate. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. Acclimate to what? I cringed at the fact that I needed to stay on a healthy diet. According to the doctor I might end up with unexpected digest ional problems. Nice thought, but I will acclimate my body back to its old diet of Tasty Cakes and greasy pizza and let us not forget McDonalds. Yumm. See, I guess I could use those words too. I was set up on two hours of physical therapy for three times a week. No biggy, I was already used to that. What really made me leery and unhappy was the good Dr. Goodwin thought it would be helpful if I saw a counselor to help me with my all emotional problems. Gah! I wanted to give him a few Italian gestures, but then it would prove to him that I had emotional _issues_. I tried looking at Ranger for support, but all he did was give me his blank face. Traitor.

And now, finally I was sitting before Ranger's computer in his office. Ranger had stayed down in his fifth floor office; he had to prepare for a meeting with a client for later this day. I was never particular when it came to computers, but now I found that at least doing researches is better than just sitting around all day wondering when Steve will contact me.

After about a few hours of research, I was tired and still at a standstill. I pushed back from the computer and wheeled back from Ranger's desk. I was mad, and frustrated. I wish I knew which direction to take this search. I reached out and grabbed a carrot stick and started nibbling. Even though Ranger had the programs, it just wasn't suited for someone who had lived over a hundred years ago.

As I sat there I stared at the box that held the journal as it sat on Ranger's desk.. Maybe reading some more would give me a clue as to where I needed to take this search. I flipped further toward the back of the book and started reading an entry at random.

_November 5, 1890_

_Dear Lord,_

_I am writing this entry to you. I'm scared for everyone and especially for myself. Mister Vance has been killed coming back from the port of Boston. We were told that it was a gang who had fought with him over territory and shipping lines. I do not believe it. I think it was Mister Dalmish. I can feel it deep in my bones._

_Mister Dalmish had married Emma four weeks ago, and after that my life has not been the same. I tried to ignore Mister Damish's advances on me. I told him more than once the Mister Vance did not tolerate the impropriety of such familiarity between Master and Servant. He had ignored that and continued to find excuses to touch me._

_Then he had caught me in the hall alone. He said I was his favorite and that I should be pleased by his attentions. I felt sick inside. He had me against the wall when his whispered in my ear that if I did not do what he wanted that he would make sure something horrible would happen to Emma. I agreed, to be his mistress for her sake. To keep her safe, I had no doubts that he would harm her._

_I have endured two weeks of this vile man, and I want away. Yet I fear what will happen if I leave. Emma is so young, and naïve, I just can not leave her. I also began to notice that Mister Dalmish seems to be after something that Mister Vance had owned. I will find out what it is, and hope this is enough for me to escape this man._

_Oh, Lord is this some penance I must pay for some wrong doing. Please help me find the correct answers soon before it is too late._

I put the book back with trembling hands, and I felt a deep ache in my heart for Mary Elizabeth. I had no idea what this Gideon Dalmish did to her, but I had my ideas. I looked back at Ranger's computer and plugged in Gideon Dalmish's name into the system. An unusual page popped up, The Dalmish Family Tree. I clicked on the link and there as plan as day was a list of people who had been related to Gideon Dalmish and Emmaline Vance. I clicked on the last link and the last entry on this genealogy was a man named Augustine Dalmish.

I put Augustine Dalmish's name into the system, and the current data of his age, occupation and address came on screen. He as a seventy-five year old widower, who had worked for the National Philatelic Museum, now retired. He currently lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I sat back and thought about whether or not it would be worth the time to contact the current Mr. Dalmish. I looked at the box and wondered briefly about Gideon Dalmish. Would Augustine be anything like his forefather? I truly hopped not.

I looked up at the time and realized it was nearly dinner. I picked up the phone and dialed Ranger's phone.

"Yo," he said.

I felt a slight jolt run through my system and my heart rate picked up, "Yo, yourself." I said softly.

"Are you alright Babe?" He asked in concern.

_I don't know,_ "Yes, I was just wondering if you'll be home for dinner." _Please tell me you will._

"I have some paperwork for a new client I need to go over. I should be up in half an hour. Go ahead and order something from Ella." I heard him rustle some paperwork in the background. All of a sudden I felt like burden to Ranger. Why was I here?

"Okay," I felt my voice shake. Maybe I do need to see a counselor.

"Babe?" His voice caught my attention.

"Yes?" I inquired back.

"I'll see you soon." And he hung up. I stared at the phone. Did Ranger actually say goodbye of sorts to me?

I hung up the receiver and contemplated the man in question. What changes had my year 'away' done to him. Was his emotional involvement with me prompting the tenderness I am currently witnessing? I bonked my head against the desk. Ugh! Now was not the time to start contemplating my love life. After this mess if over, I am going to work on figuring this out, what ever this is.

TBC . . . .

1 From one of JE's books. I got the description from ReaderJane's Burg-O-Pedia: Characters. A very good source.


	9. Chapter 9: Simple Truth

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Simple Truth 

By, Elissahara30

"_Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me. An emptiness that at times seems to burn. If you lifted my heart up to your ear I bet you could hear the ocean." from Practical Magic the Movie_

I was alone, stuck in a vast emptiness that consumed me and filled me all at the same time. I couldn't feel my hands, or touch my face, yet I knew I was crying. My tears scorched my skin like acid. The cold wind whipped around me, curling into me with its steel claws. I smelt the cigarettes before I even saw him approach me.

He leaned down to where our faces where only inches apart, "Why are you here?" He asked me, his voice tinged with sorrow.

_I don't know!_

I felt myself start to crumble like dust, and slip through the gaps, that held my world together.

_Save me!_

Gabriel sat down and watched me for long moments as he flicked the lighter making the flame on and off, "You do know the answers. You just have to ask all the right questions." He then lit another cigarette. He motioned around himself, "Darkness only affects you if you do nothing to stop it."

With a thunderous roar, Steve rode by me in a blazing car, he was laughing manically and in the back seat where Benito Ramirez and Eddie Abruzzi.

"Welcome to Hell Stephanie!"

I watched in abject horror as Steve stood before me. His skin seemed to peel off his body before my eyes. I chocked back the scream as Steve's skeleton reached out and touched my face. The bones slid down my cheek, it felt wet and frigid and my breath was coming out in frosty puffs.

Behind the macabre scene where the Slayers led by Junkman, who was jumping with a jump rope, they were coming toward me. Junkman then stopped and made a noose with the jump rope, and he as continued to walk toward me, and the Slayers all chanted behind him.

"KILL HER, KILL HER . . ."

I looked toward Gabriel and pleaded with him to help me. Gabriel took a drag from his cigarette and walked away. I started to crawl on my hands and knees to reach him. I then felt the noose go over my head and start to tighten.

I awoke on a scream as I scratched at my neck, trying to loosen my imaginary noose. Ranger scooped my up, and held me close as I rode through the aftereffects of the nightmare. Once my breathing was normal again, I continued to cling to him, shaking uncontrollably.

I only had a week to go before it was time for me to hand off the book and I was no where nearer to discovering its secrets. I knew my nightmare was from my anxiety at the possibility coming face to face with Steve again. No matter how hard I tried to suppress my feelings, my fear wouldn't let me go. I had never had these types of attacks before and it worried me.

"Are you okay now?" Ranger asked gently as he laid us booth down on the bed again. I borrowed my head into his hard chest and closed my eyes. I wanted to tell him, that I'd be fine. Nothing to worry about, that it was all only ugly dream. Somehow I couldn't get all the words out.

"I will be," I said softly. _ I sincerely hoped so._

"Babe?" His hands smoothed down my back, trying to bring warmth to my shivering body.

"Hmmm," I murmured drowsily. As I let his scent invade my senses, I contented to let myself drift in the safety of his arms.

"I have business in Philadelphia, why don't you come with me and we'll go talk to Dalmish together?" He continued to rub my back in soothing circles.

I turned my head where I could look up into his face; his expression or lack of expression hid his emotions despite the comfort he was giving me. "You would do that for me?"

"I would do anything for you." He said quietly as he kissed me softly on the lips.

I knew he would do almost anything for me, but not everything I wanted. I took that niggling thought and folded it up, and put it into my mental pocket to take out and look at later. I let myself be whole and warm in his arms, and let my worries drift away for a few more hours.

The next time I woke up I was alone in bed. I stretched out my limbs and slowly stood up out of bed, I had come far in the last three weeks. My physical therapist Justin said it was my determination that allowed me my current level of mobility. In truth it was my fear of being caught unaware again, that really motivated me. I couldn't walk for long stretches at a time without getting really fatigued, and I required an aid of a cane most the time. Justin had wanted me to use a walker, to help aid me in my balance. I vetoed that idea right away. I was not about to walk around like an old lady, hell my grandmother didn't need a walker why in the hell should I?

When I ventured out into the public world again I had gone to see Lula and Connie at the office. Lula had almost gone into apoplectic shock when she had seen my stainless steel cane. I remembered how she told Ranger that he wasn't respectin' her girl by lettin' me walk around with that ol' folk's cane. She snatched me away from Ranger and we drove off to the mall. I was a little leery about going to the mall, especially after my scene at Pinos but Lula assured me that no one paid that any mind and Joe had really felt bad about what happened. So after many tiring hours at the mall, I now sported eight different types of canes for different occasions. Ranger never said a word when I showed up at the office on Haywood with my new purchases; he just made room for them in the closet.

I looked over my wardrobe and decided to pack a mix of casual and business. Might as well be prepared in any event, I shuffled into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. My eyes were puffy from my sleepless night. I took out my tub of Preparation H and applied it to the bags under my eyes. I looked at my scary hair and with a sigh, I set it into curlers and I sat on my stool to apply makeup. I'm not sure, but I suspected Ella had brought me the stool to use when I wanted to apply my make up and do my hair. I often got tired and wobbly when I stood for long periods of time.

Later that morning found us traveling East on Hamilton Ave toward Chambers Street in his black Mercedes. I wistfully stared at the Tasty Pastry as we drove by. I wanted to ask Ranger to stop so I could get some Boston Creams, but I knew he was in his zone and it would be pointless. I had brought the journal in its wooden box and I wondered if this trip would give me the answers I was seeking. I truly hoped so.

I began to fidget and so I turned on Ranger's stereo and soothing orchestra music began to play. This wasn't my first choice of music to listen to, but I didn't have any Metallica CD's with me. I looked over at Ranger; he didn't strike me as the type who'd listen to Heavy Metal anyway.

I drifted off to sleep about the time Ranger merged onto US 1. I woke up about 30 minutes as Ranger turned left onto North 19th in Philadelphia. He then turned into Logan Circle roundabout. I blinked my eyes as we pulled in front of the Four Seasons Hotel.

I turned to Ranger, "Why are we here?"

He answered my question with a raised eyebrow, "The business I have in Philadelphia will be conducted here."

Ranger came around and opened my door; he took my hand as I steadied myself. With his hand on my back he led me into the Four Seasons Hotel. I had never been to the Four Seasons before and I took in the façade with an appreciative smile. If I have to stay in Philadelphia, might was well stay in luxury.

I sat in one of the lobby lounge chairs while Ranger went to check us in. He came back wit the rooms pass. I leaned into Ranger, and his arm snaked around my waist as we rode the elevator up to the eighth floor. Our eyes met as we looked at each other in the mirrored door's refection. I don't think I'd ever felt this comfortable with him before. He seemed to recognize our ease with each other, and I was pleased that he did not pull away.

We arrived on our floor and we made our way to our room, Ranger inserted the room pass and opened the door. I stepped into a spacious suite that has a comfortable living room, elegant dinning room, and a full kitchen. There was a door off to the left that I assumed led into the master bedroom.

I walked into the living area and sat down on the sofa, I looked up at Ranger, "Alright, this will do."

Ranger gave me is slight smile as he took our things into the master bedroom. All of a sudden the butterflies started making a racket in my stomach. I have gone out and interviewed people before. What made this time any different? It seemed my intuition has failed and left me without a way to go.

I hadn't realized Ranger had come back to the room until he was crouched before me, he took my clammy hands in his, "You can do this." Such assured faith, in me. He always had faith in me, I felt myself start to tear up. He leaned forward and whipped the tears away and lifted my chin, so my eyes met his.

"I feel so lost," I confessed.

His eyes grew more serious as he looked at me, "I will help you find your way back."

I rested my cheek on his hand, and closed my eyes. I needed to remember the Stephanie of before. The brave 'Burg girl, who didn't let anyone push her around, She was there, I knew it, I just needed to wake her up from her coma. I opened my eyes again, "Okay, let's do this."

Ranger stood and held out his hand for me to take. I took his hand, and became even more grateful that I had him. We exited the Four Seasons and drove to the more residential part of Philadelphia.

Augustine Dalmish lived on Elmwood Ave of respectable brownstone townhouses. He lived at 413 Elmwood Ave. It was a clean neighborhood that spoke of quite money. Ranger stopped his Mercedes in front of Dalmish's house and turned off the car. He got out of the drivers side and walked around opening the door for me. I handed him the wooden box that held the journal, and I carefully scooted out the seat. I used the cane to help me push up and I gratefully accepted Ranger's other outstretched hand.

We walked up the cement steps, with the wrought iron rails. Ranger rang the bell and we waited for the door to open. I heard the shuffling of a lock and chain, and an elderly man opened the door.

He was in good shape for a man in his seventies. His hair was a snow white, and his eyes a sharp blue. He had lines on his face that spoke of happy times, and he was slightly stooped. He smiled first at Ranger and then his gaze swept over me. He took an involuntary step back; clutching at his chest, and said, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, its you!"

TBC . . .


	10. Chapter 10: Whats in a Name

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

What's in a Name 

By, Elissahara30

_He was in good shape for a man in his seventies. His hair was a snow white, and his eyes a sharp blue. He had lines on his face that spoke of happy times, and he was slightly stooped. He smiled first at Ranger and then his gaze swept over me. He took an involuntary step back; clutching at his chest, and said, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, its you!"_

He noticed the box that Ranger was carrying and older man stumbled backwards. I was concerned so I reached out my hand steady him. "Go away!" He said to me.

I pulled my hand back in shock and blinked my eyes in surprise as I stared at him. "My name is Stephanie Plum and this is my partner Ranger. I'm sorry we scared you."

He eyes focused on me again, and a shudder ran through his body. "So it's comes full circle." He seemed to be talking to himself as he fell to the floor. I was really confused at this point. Ranger gently took my arm and moved me out of his way. He then walked into the house and helped Dalmish stand up. Dalmish blinked his eyes once and with trembling hands, he accepted Rangers help. The front door led into a foyer and from what I could tell there was a type of den to the left and another door to the right. Ahead of us were stairs. Dalmish with Ranger's help led us beyond the stairs into a cramped sitting room.

Ranger led Dalmish to an old wing backed chair. The furniture was so old I was afraid to sit down. I've seen antiques before, but nothing that looked like it had been around before the turn of the twentieth century. I gingerly sat on the old divan, setting my cane to the side. Ranger came back in and set the box on the coffee table between Dalmish and me.

For the longest time all three of us just looked at the box, "I need a drink." Dalmish said, he stood up on unsteady feet and made his way to a table laden with glass decanters filled with alcohol. He poured himself a tumbler of Scotch and drank all of it before he refilled the glass again. He made his way back to the chair and sat down.

With a heavy sigh he said, "So, you found the damn book."

I was taken aback, the once cheerful looking old man turned into a surly old geezer. Geez, lighten up a little bit. "It was in my sister's care." I said carefully.

His gaze seemed to harden as he looked at me, "The Meg Ryan look-a-like, right?"

I shifted uncomfortably next to Ranger, and Ranger took my hand in his. He looked at me for a beat before saying to Dalmish, "We came here to ask you questions about the book."

"You can ask, but there is nothing I can tell you about that book. It belonged to a servant who lived a long time ago. Just leave the past in the past." He directed his gaze across the room, "Ghosts belong in the past."

"You mentioned meeting my sister, what did she want with the book?" My mind drifted back to what Steve said about my sister knowing more than she pretended not to know.

"She came here a couple years ago, desperate for me to take the book back, I told her no. She threatened me at that point, told me I had to take it or her husband would be after me. I'll tell you what I told her, I'm old and I have lived my life. It have made my amends with the past, there is nothing out there that can harm me now." He faced me, and he leaned forward in his chair, "You look so much like her."

Despite the odd conversation my curiosity was bubbling to the surface, "Like whom?"

Dalmish drowned the contents of his glass, and from a shelf to his right he rummaged through and produced a tiny type picture. He looked at it for a long time before handing it to me.

I couldn't help the tremble in my hand as I looked at the picture. It was uncanny how she had looked like me. Her nose was more English than mine, and her eyes closer set, but we could almost be sisters. "Who is the person in the picture?" I handed the picture to Ranger to look at, and he quirked an eyebrow at me. Yeah, I agree it was an amazing resemblance.

Dalmish pointed to the picture and said, "That was Mary Elizabeth Chambers."

_No shit!_ "Oh, wow." Stephanie Plum, master of the English vocabulary.

I was startled as Dalmish stood up suddenly, "You need to leave."

"We're not leaving until you can tell us about the journal and your grandfather's involvement with Mary Elizabeth?" Ranger asked forcefully.

Dalmish seemed to collapse into himself, "It was never proven, but I believe my grandfather had murdered her, but not before she had hidden something he was after."

"Do you know what he was after?" I asked eagerly.

"All I can say is that you need to find Martin Edwards. That's all I have ever known. Now please leave my home, and take that book with you." I could tell that we were not going to get any further, so I indicated to Ranger I was ready to leave.

A few minutes later we where in Ranger's car, and I wondered about the weird conversation we had with Augustine Dalmish. "He's not telling us everything."

"Do you have any idea what it might be?" Ranger asked me as he started the car and drove us away from the neighborhood.

I shook my head, "I'm not sure, but I bet you anything it all goes back to Mary Elizabeth's journal. He seemed pretty upset about the book." I looked over at Ranger, "I also think it's more than just latent guilt over his grandfather possibly killing Mary Elizabeth."

"Where do you want to go from here?" Ranger said.

I looked at Ranger and smiled, "I could use something to eat, I'm starving."

Ranger shook his head, "Babe." Then he slipped into his driving zone.

Ten minutes later found us in front of Kaleidoscope Pizzeria and Pub. The place looked busy and I was starving and having pizza sounded like it would hit the spot. Ranger parked the car, and came around and opened the door for me.

A perky nineteen year old, bounced over to us holding a clipboard, "Welcome to the Kaleidoscope Pizzeria and Pub, can I have your name please?" She asked as she flashed her overly bright smile at us.

"Carlos," Ranger said. I just looked at Ranger and he just raised his eyebrow at me.

Little Miss Perky bounced once making is obvious she was not wearing a bra, "Okay dokay, it will be about five minutes, and I'll show you to your seats." And she walked away wiggling her hips as she went. I couldn't help the frown that came across my face. I heard Ranger chuckle next to me.

"Jealous, Babe." He leaned forward and placed a kiss by my ear, "You're all the woman I'll ever need."

I ignored him as I looked around the pizza place; I noticed not a single wait person looked to be over twenty-two years old. All wore jeans and tie-dye shirts. The walls were covered in Grateful Dead memorabilia, and the tables were made of wood that gleamed. The room had tall vaulted ceilings with hangings also made up in different tie-dyed patterns. This was not like any pizza place I've ever been to before.

Our five minutes were up and we were led to our table. Ranger positioned himself so his back to the wall, once I was settled I looked at my menu and was horrified.

This is not a pizzeria; this is a health food restaurant masquerading as a pizzeria." I looked up and noticed that Ranger was smiling at me as he gave me his amused expression.

"Babe, it clearly is a pizza restaurant, just pick something out and order." He sat back and tried hard not to laugh at me.

Oh, we was so going to get it later. I pointed out one of the items on the menu, "Look at this, it's a halibut 'pizza' with Gouda cheese and olive oil baked on whole grain dough." I narrowed my eyes at him, "Did you know this was a yuppie place?"

Ranger sat back and raised his hands up to fend off my bad mood, "First time I've been here babe."

Just then our waiter came up, "Would you like our complimentary bowl of garbanzo beans and sauce? Also we have wonderful yeast free bread smothered in no fat cheese, served with our marinara sauce." Why was it that ever since I woke from my coma, people kept trying to feed me foods that just seemed very, very wrong to me.

"No thank you," I plastered my best fake smile and asked, "I would like a soda though."

"Oh, I'm sorry we do not sell soda here, we have a selection of mineral waters if you're interested." The waiter gave me his overly toothy smile and I felt like hitting him.

"Plain water will be just fine, thank you. Also I would like to order a pepperoni pizza with marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese." I looked over at Ranger and he was smart enough not to laugh at me this time. He ordered a mineral water and a salad.

When our food arrived, we ate quietly and my mind kept circling back to Dalmish, and his reluctance to help us. Then I couldn't help but wonder what Valerie really knew about all of this. Val and I were going to have a conversation real soon. Then there was the find Martin Edwards comment. Who was Martin Edwards and what connection did he have with Mary Elizabeth.

So many questions and not enough answers. I looked out the window and I stopped breathing, outside staring right back at me was none other than Steve Bulisco. He saluted me as broke Ranger's car window and grabbed the box out of Ranger's Mercedes. As Ranger and I started to stand, Ranger's Mercedes went up in a bright ball of flames.

We were knocked down, the glass flying in from the explosion. The strangest thought went through me my mind; _It was nice to know some things don't change_.

TBC . . .

A/N: This chapter was a real head thunker for me. Hope you enjoyed it. I love the reviews. Let me know what you think.


	11. Chapter 11: The Heart of the Matter

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

The Heart of the Matter 

By, Elissahara30

_We were knocked down, the glass flying in from the explosion. The strangest thought went through me my mind;_ it was nice to know some things don't change

I have often wondered about my cosmic luck with life. On one hand some might think it was really, really bad. On the other hand some would say I was damn lucky to still be alive. I happen to agree that yeah, I was lucky.

For a few seconds everything slowed down to a snails pace, I remember hearing the tinkling of the glass as it hit the table. I remember seeing Ranger reach out for me as I started to fall out of the booth, and then with a great _whoosh_, the world sped up again. The bombing created chaos everywhere and Ranger had a death grip on me, as he tried to usher us out of the restaurant with his weapon drawn and held low at his side.

I looked around myself hoping no one was hurt, this had to be the scariest bombing I've ever been through. I stumbled briefly on our way out and I happened to look down at what I stumbled over and I gulped back a sob. It was an elderly woman, laid out. I'm sure the blast must have given her a heart attack. Some of the glass from the window had nicked me in various places and they stung, but it didn't compare to the panic that was threatening to overwhelm me. I felt like a rhinoceros was standing on my chest.

Once we made it out, Ranger pulled me to him and held on tight. He held on as I started to cry and waited through my panicked breathing. He had never reacted like this in the past and it made me a little scared.

"I'm okay," I finally mumbled against his chest. Then as an after thought I said, "Sorry about the Mercedes."

"It's just a car." He whispered in my ear as he eased me back and took a good look at me, his face was shuttered tight and I had no idea what he was feeling. He gave me his half smile and kissed a part of my cheek that was unhurt, "Never a dull moment around you, Babe."

I sighed, now that was the Ranger I knew, I gave him a teary smile in return, "Yeah, and don't you forget it."

After many hours with the Philadelphia PD and paramedics, I was back in our room at the Four Seasons. Ranger had taken a shower, changed for his meeting and kissed me goodbye. Somehow, Ranger had arranged for a guard to be posted outside my room, and even though it annoyed me, I felt better knowing he was there. I sat back on the king sized four poster canopied bed, holding one of Ranger's secured cell phones. All I had to do was call the control center at RangeMan and punch in the seven digit code and I would be routed to a phone for my sister. I have so many questions, and I wasn't sure if she had any of the answers I was looking for.

I closed my eyes, and press the button; I listened through the prompts and entered the code that Ranger had me memorize weeks earlier. I tried not the fidget but I found myself picking at the quilt on the bed.

After three rings my sister answered with a breathless, "Hello."

I was silent for several beats before I said, "Val?"

"Stephanie? Did they catch Steve and we can we go home now?" Valerie was starting to get an excited squeak to her voice.

"No, Val, Steve's still on the loose. Val I'm calling about the book." I swear the temperature dropped on Valerie's end of the line.

"What book?" She whispered.

I wanted to grind my teeth in frustration, "You know perfectly well what book I'm talking about Valerie Ann Kloughn!" I slapped my hand over my mouth in horror, I channeled my mother.

I hear a sharp intake of breath over the line, "You're talking about Mary Elizabeth's journal aren't you?" Bingo, give the girl a prize.

"Yeah, Val I am. Steve took it from me today." I told her.

Val was silent on the phone, I almost thought she hung up on me when she said, "He won't get far without the rest of it."

"What are you talking about Val, the rest of what?" A heavy feeling decided to take residence in my stomach.

"When I had come back to New Jersey I had tracked down a man by the name of Augustine Dalmish, and I had asked him about the book. He was very upset about it, and I didn't want to make him have a heart attack, he was so old." She paused, "He gave me a set of letters that Mary Elizabeth had written to a Martin Edwards."

Damn Skippy, "Where are the letters now Valerie?"

Again there was a pause on the other end of the phone, "I burned them."

"Jesus, Val why in the hell did you do that!" I was starting to develop a twitch in my right eye, I put my finger on the spot in a vain hope it would stop. Dealing with my family under any circumstance is trying on my nerves.

"I'll hang up is you continue to talk to me that way." Valerie's tone was clipped and sharp.

"Val," I pleaded, "I need to know what Steve is after, maybe I could head him off and catch him. Don't you want to be safe?"

"I remember in the letters that Mary Elizabeth had made references something called the _Angelus Diligo_, my Latin is so rusty that I'm not exactly sure what they where referring too." I heard some crying in the back ground, it sounded like it was coming from Lisa, Valerie's youngest daughter. "Steph, I really have to go."

I disconnected with Valerie and I felt as confused as I was before. Instead of getting any answers, all I had was more questions. I thanked my head back against the headboard of the bed. Ugh! I reached over and pulled the laptop computer that Ranger had thought to bring with us. He never forgot a detail.

I booted up the laptop and started up a search on Martin Edwards and crossreference with the _Angelus Diligo._ After two hours of searching I came across a slight mention of a desk that a Martin Edwards had designed called the _Angelus Stilus, _for Dr. Physick's great, great, granddaughter. It is still displayed in her old bedroom at the Physick's house, here in Philadelphia.

I wondered if there was a connection between the two items. I checked the museum's schedule to see when they would be opened next. I smiled to myself, tomorrow Ranger and I where going on a cultural tour.

Later that night I woke as Ranger got in bed next to me. I rolled over and wrapped myself up in Ranger, our legs in twined, his arms holding me to him. I rested my head on his chest, and I could hear his heart beat, and I thought each beat was for me. I could stay like this forever. I breathed in his heady clean scent, _Oh Bulgari, _I sighed. And I found myself becoming warm in all the right places.

I couldn't help myself as I started to kiss his warm flesh beneath me. I heard Ranger groan and it just encouraged me more. I kept my trail of kisses up until I met his delicious mouth. He kissed me back like a starving man, eating his first meal and I reveled in it. I could feel all of him and I wanted it. He pulled off my shirt and he tortured me with his tongue. I was slowly becoming impatient for more, and I fisted my hand in his hair letting him know my inpatients. His kisses trailed up along my color bone, and I purred.

He took the rest of my cloths off and threw off the bed, and he was in me in one swift move. I dug my nails in his back and I could hear him growl deep in his throat as he feverishly increased his pace.

When we were done I lay languidly next to him and all I could think was I would never get tired of this. I turned my head and looked at him and he in turn was looking seriously at me.

I felt my heart stutter in my chest, "Deep thoughts, Ranger."

He touched my face gently, his fingers tracing patterns and plans, like he was memorizing me. I couldn't help feel a little bit of fear that tickled its way into my belly. "I had pushed you away before, because I had told myself that I was protecting you from my lifestyle." I started to protest, but he shook his head at me, "I was really protecting myself from complications. Then somewhere I needed you and I didn't want that."

I started to feel tears well up in my eyes and I tried to turn my head, but Ranger prevented me from doing so, "I still need you, and when," I watched as he tried to tell me what he was feeling, "when you where in your coma, I promised myself I would never let you go again if came back to me."

I couldn't find the words to respond to him, and he understood that too. He always understood. I held unto him and promised myself, that I wouldn't let him go again either.

TBC . . .

A/N sorry for such a short installment, this just seemed like such a good stopping point.


	12. Chapter 12: Unexpected Meetings

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Unexpected Meetings 

By, Elissahara30

_I couldn't find the words to respond to him, and he understood that too. He always understood. I held unto him and promised myself, that I wouldn't let him go again either._

I stood on the sidewalk and just stared at the house in front of me. It was a huge red bricked monster. You could fit my parents' whole street in this house, it was so large. I had to go through 32 rooms just to find one desk. I felt overwhelmed and briefly considered going back to the hotel and crawling back into bed, preferably with Ranger.

I looked over at Ranger and he was Zen calm. There are times I wish I could achieve that kind of calm. "So, how do we do this?"

He continued to look at the house, maybe he was coming up with a plan. "Your call Babe."

Well, shit, that's not what I wanted to hear. I leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and let out a big sigh, "Okay, let's get this over with."

Once we entered the main foyer, I found myself slightly disappointed. Off to the right was a room that held the gift shop and a gray haired little old lady collecting the admission fee to the museum. Ranger left me to look around so he could pay the entrance fee. Everything here was considered Federal style authentic architecture and furniture. Which dated back to the 18th Century. The desk I'm looking for was made in or around the 20th Century. I was not a furniture buff, considering my furniture consisted of neo-garage sale.

Ranger came back to me and handed me a brochure. I flipped it open and looked at it briefly than I smiled up at Ranger slowly, "This is a self guided tour?"

He nodded his head as he leaned over and kissed me softly. Damn Skippy. "Hey, according to the brochure the guy who had this house built made a fortune off of selling alcohol." I stopped and took a moment to look at the fanlike moldings above the door, "Must have been a hell of a lot of good parties back then."

Ranger gave me one of his half smiles as we made our way casually upstairs. No point in making it too obvious that we were really searching the rooms for this desk. After a half hour I was bored. I liked museums, but just looking around an old house staring at furniture wasn't fun, and the room with the old surgical tools gave me the willies. My legs began to feel wobbly and my feet started ache. I've been walking around too much.

Ranger noticed how shaky I was getting and led me to a chair in the hall way. He kneeled before me and took my hands in his. He was drawing lazy circles with his thumb against my knuckles. "Are you alright, Babe?"

I gave him a tired smile, "Maybe you could let me rest and you continue to take a look around?"

Ranger smoothed the hair back from my face, he looked at me intensely, but it wasn't uncomfortable, "If you're really that tired we should go back to the hotel."

I smiled at Ranger as I touched his face softly with my hand; at times I was overwhelmed with how much I loved him. Something as simple as his concern for me makes me feel all emotional and female. That feeling of being wrapped up in a warm blanket and content with the world. He makes me content, "I just want to get this done and go home."

"I just don't feel right with leaving you unprotected," he dipped his head a little, not meeting my eyes. When he looked back up at me his eyes reflected his worry, "Bulisco is still out there."

"I know, but I don't to want to live every moment of my life in fear. I'll stay right here, and I promise not to blow up the Museum."

"Babe," He gave me a slight smile and brushed a tender kiss across my lips. It was so sweet, that it made me sigh happily. He tucked a stray curl behind my ear before getting up and walking away. I took a few moments to admire his fine ass before I shook myself out of my stupor.

I started to read the brochure again to give myself something to do, while I waited for Ranger. I had to stand up once or twice when my left leg started to cramp up. I was really looking forward to a hot bath, maybe massage. Hmm, defiantly a massage, I closed my eyes as I imagined Ranger running his hands up and down my body.

I came to attention and my eyes flew open when I felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed to my head. I met the emotionless eyes of my ex-brother-in-law Steve, "Looking for a bit of culture, Stephanie?"

"Isn't this a little too public a place to be out and about Steve?" I said with a calm that I didn't feel. My eyes shifted to the direction Ranger had walked away in, willing him to come back.

"If you're looking for your boyfriend, you should stop. My partner is keeping him busy." He chuckled in my ear, and I had to work hard at repressing a shudder, "I have some donuts for you. I want to _eat_ them with you. Come on Stephanie," he kissed me behind the ear as pressed the gun harder into my temple, "It'll be fun."

A sick rolling fear trembled in my stomach, it would be a very, very bad for me to go anywhere with Steve. I closed my eyes and swallowed; I should have stayed with Ranger and gone back to the hotel damn it. I fought the sudden bought of dizziness that swept over me. "Why don't I take a rain check on the donuts, Okay?" I cringed as my voice began to waver.

He chuckled again as he nuzzled my ear and placed open mouth kisses along my neck. I tried moving away, but he would roughly grab me and push me back into the chair. He moved his gun from my head, he traced it across my cheek and he followed each movement with a kiss. He looked up at me as he grabbed one of my breasts, "We're going to do this now."

He then dragged me off the chair and forcefully moved me down the hall. He stopped at a closed storage room door and opened the door it. He pushed me in, and I stumbled forward and fell across a desk. I looked down at what I landed on and realized this was the desk I was looking for, well son of a bitch. He grabbed me roughly again and pushed me against a wall, he used his body weight to pin me back. He inserted his knee in between my legs. He started kissing me and roughly pulled at my shirt trying to get it off of me one handed, while he still held the gun in the other hand. I wasn't strong enough to push him off of me and my cane was left in the hall way. I made little whimpering noises as he roughly grabbed me. I looked around to see if there was anything I could use for weapons. I noticed an ash bucket with a fire poker sticking out of it.

I frantically tried to recall all the self defense lessons I ever went to, and the only thing I could do was make it hard for Steve to hold me up. So, I drooped down, and he had to fight with my dead weight. He shook me until my teeth rattled and he couldn't keep holding me up as I slid down. He dropped me like a sack of potatoes; I scrambled across the room and grabbed a fireplace poker that was in the ash bucket next to the other discarded display items. He grabbed my arm to hall me up and I swung with all my might hitting across the temple with the poker stick.

"Shit!" he yelled as he stepped back. I used the desk to hoist myself back up onto my feet. I made another swing at him, but this time he caught the poker stick and wrenched it out of my grasp. "You fuckin' bitch!" He slapped me across the face knocking me against the desk again. I felt the desk begin to wobble and then fall down under me. I hit the floor hard, knocking the wind out of me.

I blinked my eyes rapidly trying to clear the black dots, as he once again landed his weight on me. I spotted a can of some spray and grabbed it. Steve had ripped my blouse by this time and was trying to get my bra off when I swung the can around and spayed him in the face. He howled in pain, as both his hands went to his eyes. He dropped the gun, and I gathered up my wits enough to lunge for it.

Once I had the gun in my hand I turned my attention back to my ex-brother-in-law. Steve was between me and the door, "Open the God Damn door before I shoot you," My hands shook and my teeth chattered with all the adrenaline that was running through my body.

Steve recovered enough to move his hands down and glare at me with his red rimmed eyes. Then I noticed an unholy gleam entered his eyes, "Go ahead and shoot me."

My breathing started coming in and out in loud raspy pants, and my chest started to burn with all the tension. My eyes started to grow darker as Steve started for me again. Not now! I don't need a damn panic attack now! I fought the fatigue and the fear, "Open the door."

He reached out and snagged my foot and pulled on it knocking me back. I hit my head hard; I rolled and scooted away again all the while keeping a death grip on the gun. My legs felt like they had weights on them, they refused to move as fast as I wanted them too. My back collided with the wall in the corner and did the only thing I could do. I pulled the trigger.

TBC . . .

A/N: I'm baaack! Thanks to all who supported me during my meltdown and told me that it was okay, to feel the way I did. To the gals at PFF thanks for the group therapy. Very Special thanks to Christie! You rock babe.

This chapter would not have been written if Shadowwritr hadn't helped me brainstorm a way out my writers block on this chapter. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!!!


	13. Chapter 13: Angel's Heart

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Angel's Heart 

By, Elissahara30

_He reached out and snagged my foot and pulled on it knocking me back. I hit my head hard; I rolled and scooted away again all the while keeping a death grip on the gun. My legs felt like they had weights on them, they refused to move as fast as I wanted them too. My back collided with the wall in the corner and did the only thing I could do. I pulled the trigger._

With a gasping sob my fingers went slack and the gun slid from my hand. I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my pounding head against my crossed arms. Just two feet in front of me, Steve was crumpled on the floor, blood escaping the bullet wound in his chest. I started to go numb from the shock as I felt myself rock back and forth. I just sat there staring at Steve and the only thought that went through my mind was, _I killed my nieces' father._

That's how Ranger found me, he stepped around Steve's body and picked me up and carried me from the small storage room. He hugged me tightly and for the first time ever I felt him shaking. "I've go you now Stephanie," he whispered in my ear, "It's going to be okay."

I clung to Ranger and sobbed into his chest, and willed him to never let me go. Right now I needed to barrow is strength to keep me grounded, his solidness to keep me from shattering and his unwavering faith in me make me believe that everything was going to be alright.

I loosened my grip on Ranger and he eased me back down onto to my tired legs. He leaned back so he could examine the damage Steve had done to me. He touched my bruised face softly, his dark eyes unreadable, as his hands threaded through my hair carefully brushing against the swollen bumps. I watched as his jaw tightened at my torn shirt, and he shrugged off his jacket and carefully helped me into it. Then he tenderly wrapped me up in his arms again.

"I kept my promise," I whispered against his neck, "I didn't blow up the museum."

"Babe," he said with a slightly exasperated sigh

It wasn't until after all the chaos with the police and the paramedics that I remembered about the desk. I impatiently answered the detective's questions all the while wondering how I could get back into that room and search the desk. The police detective had separated Ranger and I in different rooms so the detective could question us separately. He just finished questioning me, and left. There was no one else in the small office on the second floor of the museum, so what would it hurt to go look at the desk. I stood up on wobbly legs leaning heavily on my recovered cane and hobbled over to the office door. I opened it a crack and peeked out, so far no one was wondering around the halls.

My legs gave me serious protest for being up and moving, as I made my way toward the storage room. I saw an officer standing at the end of the hall, but he was watching the stairs making sure no one unwanted came up. Good. I carefully peeled back the police tape; stepped around the spot Steve's body had been and make my way over to the desk. I concentrated hard on not letting the incidents of what happened just a few short hours ago deter me from my goal.

I dug around the desk drawers, I ran my hand along seems, and tapped here and there and found, nothing. No hidden drawers, or latches, no false bottoms or hollow spots. Nothing!

I pried the loose leg from the desk and threw it down in my anger, "Damn it!"

I wanted to kick the piece of shit furniture, but in my current state I would end up doing more damage to myself. _Find Martin Edwards, _I was told. All I found was a useless old desk. I was ready to beat the desk with the broken leg when I noticed something sticking out of the socket the desk leg was in. I turned the leg around and noticed it had been hollowed out. I carefully bent down, using my cane for leverage and pulled a old black cloth bag from the underside of the desk.

I didn't think it was safe to hang around the storage closet, just in case someone was looking for me. So, I stuffed the black bag into the pocket of Ranger's jacket. I carefully exited the room and replaced the police tape back on the door. I checked the hall again to make sure the cop was busy looking away from me, when I made my way back to the office and sat down again. I sighed in relief.

Ranger decided to take me home before he finished with his business in Philadelphia. I was upset, thinking that he was angry with me. But he just wanted me to rest and be safe. I wanted to argue, but I really just wanted to be home. He had carried me upstairs and tucked me into bed and lay down next to me. He took his hand and brushed it through my hair so gently, careful not to hit the bumps no adorning my head. He dark eyes held so much at one time, love, fear, slight anger. I knew the anger wasn't directed at me, but I still felt like it was partly my fault for insisting that he go.

"It's not your fault," he said softly.

I smiled sadly at him, "I shouldn't have told you to leave me."

He frowned slightly, "I shouldn't have gone."

I tipped my head up and kissed him, letting him know that it was okay, and that we both had errors in judgment today. "When will you be back?"

"Tomorrow afternoon is the last meeting, I'll be home after that," he continued his soft caresses as the lolled me to sleep.

"'Kay," I said drowsily. "I love you."

"Love you too, Babe." And I drifted off to sleep.

Hours later I woke up in need of the bathroom and something to eat. I looked over and noticed Ranger had set up my walker that I never wanted to use. I scowled at the damn contraption, but considering how stiff I was I could use the extra balance right now. I carefully sat up and winced from the pain in my head and the soreness of my body. I reached for my walker and levered myself up and shuffled my way into the bathroom for a shower. After I leaned myself up and felt halfway human again, I dressed in light sweats and a t-shirt and made my way into the kitchen.

Oh, bless Ella. She kept a plate warm of baked lemon pepper chicken, broccoli and wheat bread. I looked in the fridge and smiled as I spied a chocolate cake. That certainly made me happy. I took my dinner to the dinning room and mulled over the events from the last few days. I still had the question of who Steve's partners were and I had to answer the question as to what was in the black bag that was so important that it be hidden for over hundred years.

I rubbed my head absently, as I swallowed a pain pill with my juice. I carefully took my dirty dishes and set them in the sink in the kitchen. I made my way back into the bedroom and snatched up Ranger's jacket. I fished out the black bag from the pocket and threw the jacket on the floor. I scooted back until the head board supported my back and carefully worked the old fabric apart. Whatever was in it was large and heavy, I turned the bag over and dropped the object into my open palm. "Holly Mother of God," I breathed.

With one trembling hand I picked up the item and held it to the light. Its reflection of light was pure and sparked red around the room, it had to be about the size of a golf ball. And I swear it vibrated with energy as it sat in my hand and it frightened me. I just found the _Angelus Diligo, _the Angel's Heart.

TBC . . .

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I am so happy to be writing this story again.


	14. Chapter 14: Behind Door Number 3

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Behind Door Number 3 

By, Elissahara30

_With one trembling hand I picked up the item and held it to the light. Its reflection of light was pure and sparked red around the room, it had to be about the size of a golf ball. And I swear it vibrated with energy as it sat in my hand and it frightened me. I just found the Angelus Diligo, the Angel's Heart._

_-8888-_

_The chilly night hung heavily in the darkness. The fogy mist clung to the surfaces like a wet shroud and made me shiver all the more. I hated the dark, because you are blinded and lost without a compass, never really knowing what course would lead you safely home. A reminder to me of how little control I had over my life. I could not perceive what was out there, and what could be hiding in its shadows of the night, ready to jump out at me without a moments notice. I waited in the horse stables for him to meet me. I looked around myself as I pulled the shawl tighter around my shoulders trying not to think of what could be lurking out here. The horses were restless in their stalls and I could not help but feel it too. It did not matter where I was these days; it seemed the devil always found me._

"_Psst," Came the sound off to the left of me, and I jumped back holding a hand to my chest, as my heart raced as I made out the familiar form of my friend._

"_Martin are you trying to scare the life out of me?" I accused in a harsh whisper._

_Martin Edwards came out of the shadows of the stables and pull me to him, "I am sorry, I did not mean to frighten you." He said softly against my hair._

_I closed my eyes as I breathed in his scent, a musky mixture of pine and oak. I tried to relax into his embrace as I pretended that the last ten months was all but a nightmare. Martin was a solid force in my life and my small blessing from the cruelty I have suffered. It was with his strength that I managed to go on, and do what I needed to do. And right now I desperately needed his help._

"_I found it," I said solemnly against his chest._

_I felt his body stiffen under my hold, "Are you sure? Mary I do not like the chances you keep taking. Mister Dalmish is a very dangerous man."_

"_Mister Vance died protecting it Martin." I said to him as I started to feel the first stirrings of anger bubble in my chest._

"_How are you so sure Mary?" His voice took on a dark tone as he shook me a little, "And why you?"_

"_Mister Dalmish needs to pay for what he has done." I ground out between clenched teeth, as I pushed away from Martin._

_I could see the sadness in his dark eyes as looked at me, "Then why do you continue to stay. Come away with me? Let me keep you safe?" He tried to hold me again, but I took a step back raising my hand to forestall anymore movement toward me. _

"_I have to see this through, I will be sending you the package in the next couple of days. Promise me you will find a way to hide it?" I stepped foreword then and touched his face tenderly, "Once this is over, I will come away with you. I give you my word."_

_He breathed out a heavy sigh as he rested his head again mine, "Do be careful Mary. And know that I love you." He kissed my forehead lovingly before stepping back and walking away._

_I stood there in the dark night watching him disappear in the gray nothingness beyond. Trying to regain my composure, I smoothed out my apron and took in a few steadying breaths. I walked back to the manor with my head bowed. I had to get the item out soon, and I needed to insure it was safe before I left. I stopped briefly looking at the stately home, and felt a deep sorrow burry itself in my chest. How many years had this been my home, only to have it turn into my prison. _

_I entered the house through the back porch door to the kitchen. I skirted around the big counter in the middle of the room and started to make my way up the servants' stairs when someone pulled me back with his hand over my mouth, preventing me from screaming and alerting the other servants upstairs._

"_Out for a night time stroll, my pet." Dalmish breathed into my ear. He started to rub my back against his groin. "I have missed you." He then lifted me up and spun me around. He kissed me hungrily before he slammed the back of my head against the newel post, and everything turned black._

I sat up abruptly in bed a scream suppressed on my lips. I closed my eyes and concentrated on calming my breathing as my heart rate returned to normal. I struggled to get out of bed and I reached for my walker and slowly made my way into the kitchen for a bottle of water. I opened the bottle and took in big gulps trying to sooth my dry throat and I leaned heavily against the closed refrigerator door.

I rested my head against its cool surface. "Get a grip Stephanie," I said to myself.

As far as nightmares go that was the oddest one I ever had. I still couldn't shake the eerie feeling that this was more a memory than a dream. I put my bottle of water back in the fridge and shuffled back into the bedroom. I lay back on the bed in my thinking position and stared at the white ceiling above me as I thought about the Angel's Heart.

I needed to find someone who could give me information about the stone. Maybe it has a dark history similar to the Hope Diamond, or more frightening something darker. I shivered as I consider the possibilities. The idea of a cursed diamond didn't appeal to me at all. I turned my head and looked at the clock and noticed the time was nine o'clock in the morning. I should eat, even though I wasn't really feeling my best this morning.

With a groan I rolled over and pushed the intercom button for Ella and requested that she bring me breakfast. This was one of the reasons why I really loved living with Ranger, it was so nice to have someone else cook and clean for me, as much as I tried to feel guilty about that fact, I really couldn't. Face it, I wasn't cut from the same cloth as my mother and I never aspired to be like her either.

After a fifteen minute wait Ella came bustling in with my breakfast, "You're not getting good enough sleep," she chastised me.

I smiled at her motherly tone, "I had an odd dream that interrupted my rest, but I'll be okay."

She put my breakfast of buckwheat pancakes with marmalade jam on the dinning room table and helped me sit, she then put her soft cool hand to me head, "You should take a nap later, you feel a little warm. I will inform Ranger and Dr. Goodwin that you're not taking care of yourself, if I find out that you're neglecting yourself."

"Don't worry I don't plan on doing anything extreme today." I said patiently, as I smoothed my cloth napkin on my lap and then picked up my bitter green smoothing and sipped at it. I tried not to wince at the taste as it hit my tongue.

She handed me a tube of cream, "For your bruise dear, it will help with the discoloration," she then left me to my breakfast.

Later after breakfast I went and took my shower. I loved Ranger's shower but there were times I really wished he had a large Jacuzzi in here. My body really could've used the hot water and the jets pounding into my flesh.

After my shower I sat on my stool and was busy applying my makeup for the day, when all the little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Goose flesh prickled my arms and I dropped my mascara from my nerveless fingers. My mascara splattered against the mirror and ran dark into the sink. I didn't pay it any attention, no my attention was on the figure behind me.

Mary Elizabeth looked like she did in my dream, and her deep blue eyes stared into mine and I swear I could see eternity in her gaze. It chilled me as she continued to watch me like she was measuring and weighing my worth. And all the while I couldn't help but feel that I came up lacking in some way in her eyes. I clutched my walker beside my stool to keep myself from sliding off as we continued our visual game.

I finally broke my eye contact and looked away, as I sucked in a shaky breath. After I regained my composure I looked back into the mirror and noticed she was gone. _Shit I'm starting to loose my mind._

I'm not sure how long I sat there but eventually I pulled my thoughts back together enough to clean up the mess I'd made on the counter. As I was slowly making my way back into the bedroom my cell phone started to ring. I picked it up hoping it was and flipped it open.

"Yo," I said with a smile playing at my lips.

It was silent for a few beats before, "I was told by a Ms. Chambers that you're looking for a rare gem dealer," he breathed over the line, "My name is Hiram Mueller and I am at your disposal."

TBC . . .

A/N: Dun Dun Dun . . . Keep in tune for the next installment of To Have Lost.


	15. Chapter 15: Never Say Goodbye

_**Disclaimer: **The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Never Say Goodbye 

By, Elissahara30

_It was silent for a few beats before, "I was told by a Ms. Chambers that you're looking for a rare gem dealer," he breathed over the line, "My name is Hiram Mueller and I am at your disposal."_

Feeling as though I was dropped into a tub of frozen water, the coldness gripped me. I started to shake and my body forgot how to respond to my commands. I could no longer hear the conversation on the other end of my cell phone. I no longer had control over myself. The darkness crept across my vision and right before all went dark, my phone fell from my hand.

I felt uncomfortably warm and I tried to push the comforter off my body. "You need to keep covered; you were completely chilled when I found you." Ella came into the bedroom and set a tray down beside the bed, "I have called Dr. Goodwin; he will be here shortly to take a look at you."

I wanted to argue with Ella, that I was fine, but I couldn't find my voice. What was wrong with me anyway? Ella helped me sit up and I could see her brow knit with concern over my obvious weakened state. She tried to give me the spoon for some broth, but my hand was shaking so bad that I couldn't keep a grip on it.

Ella put her hand to my head again and I found myself leaning in the coolness of her smoothed wrinkled skin. "Dear Lord, you're burning up." She moved the tray away and came back with a cool cloth. I closed my eyes, relaxing into the coolness the damp cloth provided. Then came a knock from the other room, someone was at the 7th floor apartment door. Ella stood up and left the bedroom to answer it.

Dr. Goodwin came into the room and rushed to the bed. I tried to give him a smile but my mouth seemed to have forgotten how to work too. "How long has she been like this?" Dr. Goodwin asked Ella.

"I came in fifteen minutes ago and she was passed out on the floor. At the time she was cold. I put her in the bed and covered her up. She felt warm this morning, but no fever at the time. She must have developed the hot fever in the last ten minutes."

Dr. Goodwin used an ear scanner to check my temperature, "Its registering as a 103.2," he then proceeded to check my ears and eyes. He looked into my mouth to check my throat and then he took my pulse. "Her heart beat seems erratic."

He proceeded to check my heart with a stethoscope, "Stephanie, can you tell me how you feel? Any stomach cramps, muscles aches, sudden bouts of weakness?"

I raised a shaky hand to my head, "Aches," I croaked out.

He raised a light and checked my eyes, and I blinked back from the sudden brightness. He then proceeded to check my reflexes and they didn't seem to respond very well to his taping. "Stephanie, I want you to squeeze my hand as hard as you can, alright?"

I tried to squeeze his hands, but my gripe was so weak. A slow track of tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as fear started to bubble in my chest. My god, was I dieing? Did my second chance at life finally expire? "Help me," I whispered out of my drying lips.

All the color seemed to have drained from Ella's face as she stood in the door way. I looked over at her, and watched as she seemed to shrink in on herself. Was I really that bad? She put one slightly trembling hand to her own lips, like she was trying to stave off the effects of her emotions. She couldn't hide it, I saw them all over her face.

"Ranger," I said to her. And she understood, she gave me a slight nod and left the room.

My attention was directed back to Dr. Goodwin, as he continued his physical examination of me. He lifted up my shirt and touched the skin around my torso, and a more deeply concerned look came into his eyes. He looked at me intently, "You're going to have to go to the hospital Stephanie. There's some tests I'm going to have to perform on you to confirm my diagnosis of your condition." He took my hand in his, "I'm going to take care of you."

He then stood up, and left me alone in the room. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, and then turned my head and watched as Steve came into the room and sat down in the chair by the bed, "Fancy seeing me again huh." He leaned real close to me, "Welcome to the end of your days."

"Not real," I said to him.

"Yeah, I'm dead and you killed me. I just wanted to see what it was like to watch someone die." He smiled that unholy smile at me again.

I started to shake harder as he seemed to be gloating over my mortality. I wanted my mother, she used to chase my nightmares away and sooth my hurts. I needed Ranger; he would shield me from my pain. Dr. Goodwin came back into the room, and he did not see the ghost of the man I had killed sitting in the chair in the corner.

My fear ratcheted up another notch as Gabriel sauntered into the room. His obvious disdain for me written across his face as he lit his cigarette. He coolly walked over to my bed and crouched right next to my head and blew out a heavy stream of smoke.

"I don't want to go," I said desperately, as I focused my attention on the angel and ignored the doctor hovering over me.

"You don't have a choice this time Stephanie." He inhaled deeply and let the smoke trail out through his nose. "You're life is in God's hands now."

"No . . . no . . ." I pleaded as tears ran down my cheeks harder, "I'm not done yet."

I heard a snort from Steve, "I wasn't done yet either and look what happened to me."

"No choice," I mumbled, "I had no choice."

"We all have choices; you just chose to kill me." Steve said coldly from his chair.

I turned my gaze from Steve to Gabriel, "I had no choice," I pleaded again, "It was the only way."

Gabriel brought the Angel's Heart into my view, "What do you plan on doing with this? Try to make you're fortune," he accused.

"No," I denied, "Just answers."

Gabriel seemed to consider me for a few minutes before he took another drag off his cigarette, "Some answers come with a high price." He then stood up and walked away form me.

"No!" I shouted after him, "Don't go; please don't leave me!"

And with a spiking deep searing pain in my head, I bent my head back. Dr. Goodwin rushed to my bedside as I couldn't control my body movements any longer. I shook and thrashed and fought to breath. I felt my eyes roll back into my head as Steve's laughter rang through out the room.

It was the pungent smell of a sterile room that I noticed first when I opened my eyes. My mouth held the bitter taste of copper, and I desperately wanted something to drink. The room lit dimly, like all hospital rooms. I looked toward my right and noticed Ranger dozing in the chair beside my bed.

My head felt like a giant gong was ringing through it, and I desperately wanted the pain to go away. Ranger stirred beside me and noticed that I was awake. He sat up straighter and took one of my cold hands in his.

He gave me a small smile as he brushed some of my unruly hair out of my face. I could see the unconcealed concern on his face, and I wanted desperately to tell him that I was okay. Our eyes met and held. It's amazing how much information can be transmitted with a single gaze. How much information can be given and received, how much emotion that passed between us. The joy that I was still alive, the relief that Ranger was here and the over all sense that I was no longer alone. No . . . words weren't necessary.

He helped me sip some water, and I was thankful for the cool liquid that made its way down my parched throat. "What wrong?" I breathed out.

A frown marred his features as he said, "According to the test results you have Bacterial Meningitis." He rubbed his hands against my knuckles absently, "You've been in and out of it for a few days. You gave me a serious scare there for a while Babe."

My wanted to take that frown from his face and let him know that I was going to be alright, "I'm okay now."

He looked down to our joined hands and sat there quietly for a long time. I wasn't going to rush him; it never helped when I tried anyway. So I waited for him to continue. "No matter how hard I try, I can't ever seem to keep you safe enough."

My heart stuttered as I watched him struggle to contain his emotions, "I'm still here."

He looked at me then and his half smile touched his lips before it disappeared again, "Yeah, you're still here."

I wanted to tell him about the Angel's Heart and seeing Mary Elizabeth and the odd phone call from Hiram Mueller. About Steve waiting for my death and of my talk with Gabriel. But right now he needed me to be okay. He needed to know I was still whole, and alive.

I lightly gripped his hand and smiled at him, "I need you. You're my home."

"Babe," he seemed at lost for words, "I'll always need you."

I knew how hard that confession was, because Ranger was not a man to declare his emotions for the world to witness. Our brief moment was interrupted as the door to my room opened, and a nurse came in. I looked at the nurse for a moment and then my eyes flicked to the name tag. Well, hell it Morelli's wife Janis.

TBC . . .

A/N: Thanks to everyone who have read. Let me know how I'm doing, and sorry for the cheesy last scene. I couldn't help myself. If it's any consolation, it's good with wine, I recommend a hardy Merlo.


	16. Chapter 16: Visiting Hours

**_Disclaimer:  _**_The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story.  The story line is mine. _

Visiting Hours

By, Elissahara30

I tore my eyes away from Janis and focused on Ranger.  I know, he knew and it made me feel horrible.  I loved him, and I can't imagine my life without him . . . but I still can't help the feeling like Joe had betrayed me.  He didn't wait for me and I don't think I could ever forgive him for losing hope in us so quickly.

I kept my attention away from Janis as she checked my vitals.  Her hands were clammy cold and I wanted to flinch away.  Janis seemed to squeeze my wrist tightly and I looked up sharply.  I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not, but I swear I saw a dark glint in her eyes.  "How are you feeling?"  She asked me.

"Stephanie seems to be in pain," Ranger said beside me.

"I'll go check her chart and see what I can give her.  I also let her doctor know that she's awake."  She looked us over briefly before leaving the room.

I focused my attention on Ranger, "I don't want her to be my nurse."

"Babe," he said calmly.

"No you don't understand Ranger, in no uncertain terms do I want that woman anywhere near me.  I don't care what you have to do, I just . . ." I just what?  I'm in a fit of complete jealousy that I can't see straight?  That I'm still grieving my relationship with Joe?  That nothing is status quo for me and hasn't for a long time.  "Please," I pleaded softly instead. 

"You know I would do anything for you," he said as softly, "But you need to focus getting better not on . . ."

I shook my head and winced when my brain seemed to bounce off my skull, "You don't understand."

His dark eyes watched me for the longest time, "I understand better than you think Babe," and he got up and left the room.

Somewhere I must have fallen into some serious bad karma, because this just sucked ass.  It was bad enough that I was seeing dead people and how cliché was that anyway.  Not only had I a contracted some god awful sickness, I've managed to piss the one person off that I truly needed.  Why in the world couldn't my life be simple?  At times like this I think I should have gone to the button factory for a job all those years ago. 

Dr. Goodwin came in and checked on me, "I am pleased with the amount of progress the antibiotics are making.  It will be a couple of days before I feel comfortable enough to let you out.  I'm also pleased that you haven't had any seizures.  I was very worried that you might,"

"Is this going to set back my other recovery?"  I tried not to get depressed.

"The important thing to keep in mind is that you need to give yourself time and not push to much until you are strong enough to return to your weekly regimen."  He patted my arm, "You're a determine woman and I think you'll be up and around in no time."

Shortly after another nurse that thankfully wasn't Janis came in and gave me a shot in my IV and I closed my eyes as the drugs made me swim away in oblivion. 

I don't know how long I lay there later when I found myself coming back to consciousness.  I looked over to my right and noticed that Ranger hadn't come back to my room. 

"Welcome back," said Gabriel said as his cigarette smoke curled around him.

Startled I suppressed the scream that wanted to bubble out of my throat. "What now?  Did I go into cardiac arrest and now I'm parlaying in the World Between or no wait, I'm hallucinating you again."  I covered my face and chanted, "Not real, not real, not real," over and over again.

"You realize you look stupid right?"  I dropped my hands and glared at him and he just smirked at me as he took another drag from his cigarette.

"I hate you," I said.

"See now you've hurt my feelings Stephanie.  I thought we've really connected during our time together," Gabriel said.

"Am I dead?" 

He smiled slowly at me, "Nope."

"Than why are you here," I asked.

His smile faded away and the smoke grew richer and murky around him as his blues eyes became darker, more intense.  "Lines have been drawn and the scales are out of balance, and the time is getting shorter." 

"What is dose that mean?"  I asked.

"You know, you have always known," Gabriel said.

I sat up in the bed and gasped in a painful breathe of air and looked around myself.  I was still in the hospital.  I looked over to the clock and noted that it was well past ten at night.  I raised a shaky hand to my head and sank back into my pillow.  I'm having drug induced dreams now, that's all I needed.

I looked over at the door as it opened and an old man came through. 

He had to be a hundred to the day, old and wrinkled and paper thin.  I had a sneaking suspicion if there was a strong wind outside it would simply lift him up like Mary Poppins sans the umbrella. He wore an old fashioned wool tweed jacket and brown slacks and he had his hat in his hands and he came further into the room.  "Ms. Plum," he whispered.

I couldn't help all the little hairs on my arms standing on end.  I knew that voice.  Oh, god I was going crazy.  The bacteria was eating at my brain and making me go crazy.  Because this was so not happening to me now, "Who are you?" My voice warbled. 

But I knew even as he came further into the room I knew.  "Hiram Mueller," he stated in his old raspy voice.

"Yeah that's what I thought," I reached out for my cup of water and tried to ignore how much my hands shook.  "Why are you here?"

He stopped at the foot of my bed, "Time is of the essence Ms. Plum," he said, "And I hope we will be able to help each other."

Setting the cup back down I pressed my fingers to my temples trying to stave off the headache that wanted to overwhelm me, "I don't understand." 

Mr. Mueller pulled out his card and set it on my rolling tray, "We must meet when you are well enough.  The gem is it safe?"

Oh. My. God.  The Angels Heart, I had forgotten all about it.  "Yes," I said simply.

Mr. Mueller nodded his head and patted my foot softly, "Good, good.  We'll get together soon and I can take a look at it."  He turned and headed to go out the door.

"Wait!"  I shouted.  He turned and looked back at me, "You said Ms. Chambers told you to call me.  How?"

He reached into his suite jacket and pulled out a yellowed letter and looked at it, his gaze distant as he ran his fingers over the aging paper.  "Do you believe in destiny Ms. Plum?"

"No," I shook my head.

His aged faded eyes looked over at me.  His gave was focused and at the same time world weary.  "I have had this letter in my possession for over sixty years.  I have read it more times than I can keep track and all this time I thought the idea of calling on someone in the future fanciful, foolish even."  He paused in his rumination, "Mr. Edwards had trusted my father with the letter and my father had passed the letter to me when he had died.  I've carried this burden for so long that I didn't think it would ever come to pass." 

He pointed to the card on the table, "Call me when you are up and ready for our meeting and the examination of the gem."  Mr. Mueller turned and exited out the door.

I stared at the spot he stood for a very long time.  I was so lost in thought I barley reacted when the nurse came back into the room.  I was reaching my Mr. Mueller's card when the nurse's hand clamped on my arm.  Started I looked up into Janis' steady gaze, "Are you still in pain?"

I thought Ranger was going to make sure she didn't come back to my room.  "Umm, my head still hurts."

"It will until you get better," she patted my arm and I tried not to yank it away.  Janis sat down in my empty chair and kept hold of my arm.  "Joe and I had a long discussion about you."

"Oh," I said. 

"I understand you are still feeling resentment for Joe moving on."  She gave me a sympathetic smile, "There are days I feel like a poor substitute for you.  He loved you very much."  She let go of my arm and stood up and smoothed down the front of her scrubs, "I'll let the nurse on duty know that you are still in pain.  Take care of yourself Stephanie."  Janis turned and walked out of the room.

Could this day get any weirder? 

I dozed in and out of sleep for the rest of the night stirring each time a nurse or the doctor came in to check on me.  I looked at my arm with all its nasty needle marks from the various injections and didn't I look like the neighborhood junkie.  And through all this I tried not to worry about the fact that Ranger hadn't come back to my room. 

It wasn't until later that I noticed that Hiram Mueller's business card was missing.


	17. Chapter 17: Ashes and Glass

**_Disclaimer:  _**_The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story.  The story line is mine. _

Ashes and Glass at Half Past Ten

By, Elissahara30

Janis hadn't been back, but then again neither had Ranger.  It was a lonely two weeks recovery time that I thought would never end.  It sucked knowing that Ranger had to be out of the state working on a Technologies contract.  And even though I wasn't plagued by any more interesting visitors since that first night I woke up in the hospital, I still felt off.  More than just being sick, something was tickling at the back of my mind. 

I cheered inside when Dr. Goodwin declared me fit enough to go home.  I've had my lifetime allowance on hospital stays and planned on never being their "guest" again.

I put on my sunglasses as Junior wheeled me out of the hospital to the loading zone.  It was a bright day and unfortunately I found myself more sensitive to light since I've been sick.  As he maneuvered the chair to help me into the SUV, something in my peripheral made me pause.  I frowned as I turned my head and there standing at the edge of the hospital was Janis Morelli.  When she noticed me watching her, she turned and went into the alley.

I shook my head as I pulled myself into the passenger seat and waited to be taken home.  I felt like being childish, so I didn't look at Junior, I just kept my attention on the side streets as we made our way to Haywood.  Ranger hadn't come to get me, and the thought burned and bruised and pouted because I could.

I came back to myself as we entered the security gate to the parking garage to the RangMan building.  I opened my door and debated if I really wanted to risk walking to the elevator when the man himself stepped in front of me.

"Hey," I said softly.

Tucking a stray curl behind my ear he carefully traced a finger along my check and gently touched my lips.  "I'm sorry I wasn't there pick you up.  I've only now just arrived."

"It's okay," I lied.

He didn't look convinced and that mollified my inner child for the moment.  He helped me to stand and I was pleased to note I wasn't too terribly shaky. All it took was for me to take a couple of steps before my legs wobbled and I fell into Ranger.  I pressed my face into his chest, "This is getting really, really old." I murmured.

"It takes time," he said as his hands skimmed down my back and rested on my waist.

"I've done all the work in physical therapy Ranger and it's just . . . ," I blew out a frustrated breath, "I'm just tired."

He squeezed me tight, "I know Babe, I know."

He turned around and maneuvered the chair over for me to sit in, and I leaned back and closed my eyes against the sudden weariness of it all.  I barley noticed it when we exited the parking garage and came to the seventh floor.  I only opened my eyes when I could tell we were in the apartment and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"God it's good to be home," I said.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"No not really, after eating all that hospital food I think I haven't recovered my appetite quite yet."  I tilted my head back and he brushed a kiss against my lips, "I think I just want to get clean and change my cloths and maybe just lay around a bit."

He hummed against my lips before standing up, "I have a proposal for a client that needs to be completed.  I should be back in time for dinner."  He touched my face again before heading out the door. 

I waited a beat before I wheeled myself over to Ranger's office.  I booted up his computer and then went online.  I needed to find this Hiram Mueller.  Now that I was out of the hospital it was time that I search for some real answers to the mystery behind the Angel's Heart.

I have always appreciated the fact the Ranger had the same research programs as the control room floor and I don't have to sneak down there to use them.  Booting up the computer I stretched my tired arms and wiggled my fingers I started my search.

"Oh. My. God."  I breathed out as I sad back in my chair.  This was not possible, how could one gem create so much damage even if most of it was legend and couldn't be real but I just couldn't get past the second passage of the Angel's Hearts dark tail. 

_The Angelus Diligo or otherwise known as the Angel's Heart has a varied and wide history of being cursed.  Like the Hope Diamond most of the information provided has been suspect as legend and lead no real credence on whether or not the Angel's Heart was in fact cursed for furthermore even existed._

_The gem was discovered in 1342 by Sir Gabriel De Algernon during the 5th, crusade.  Sir De Algernon gave the Gem its name of the Angel's Heart and kept the gem as he rode into battle as a symbol of truth and justice.  During the long and bloody war in __Estonia__, Sir De Algernon was killed in what we know as the War of Ash.  _

Even though really I should know that Gabriel is a figment of my imagination. He was never real at all.  But . . .  I couldn't shake the cold that seemed to want to seep into my skin.  I pushed away from the desk in my chair and man I wish I could pace damn it. 

I looked out the seventh floor window out at the sky.  All of this can be explained, there is no rational reason I should think that any of this is related.  Nope, not going there, all of it has to do with brain injuries and sickness.  Wheeling myself back to the computer I resolved to find where to old man's store was.  So I did a standard address search on Hiram Mueller.

I couldn't locate him in Trenton and decided then broaden my search outward cover most of New Jersey and into Pennsylvania.  Still nothing popped up and then I tried to look for him on a deeper search guessing his age and again . . . nothing.  I gave the computer a frustrated huff and looked at the time. 

"Well crap," I wanted to get cleaned up before Ranger came up for dinner than I better get my butt moving.  I turned off the computer and made my way to the bathroom and pulled out all the items for my shower.  Even though I liked to think of myself as a rational adult I couldn't make myself look at my reflection because I was afraid of what I might see or who might be looking back at me. 

I took my shower and luxuriated in the hot spray when a sudden thought hit me.  Hiram Mueller had called me here.  Not just RangeMan, but here to Ranger's apartment, his private unlisted phone number.  How in the hell did Mr. Mueller get it?  I shut off the water and hurriedly grabbed a towel and dried off as best I could.  Then I plopped my naked wet butt in my chair and wheeled myself to the master bedroom and picked up the phone and dialed the control room.

"Yeah," intoned the voice of Hal over the phone.

"Hey Hal this is Stephanie, Ranger has caller id right?"  I asked.

There was a long pause on the other line and Ranger's voice came on next, "Babe?"

I repeated my question and waited to find out if I was right, because that is one detail I think Ranger wouldn't neglect having, especially in the type of business he owned.  "What are you thinking?" he asked.

What was I thinking anyway and how the do I explain it to Ranger, "I received a call before I was hospitalized and I was hoping you had a number.  I needed to call him back regarding business involving Steve."

I could feel the unasked questions coming over the line, but I needed to know, "It wouldn't be anyone who would normally call the number here.  If the name Hiram Mueller comes up I need his number specifically."

I could hear tapping on the computer keyboard over the phone and the pause took on another set of intensity.  "I'll be up there in five," and Ranger hung up the phone. 

I looked put the phone down and got myself dressed in sweats and a loose shirt and threw my hair back into a pony tail.  I'll just to re-wash and fix my hair again anyway.  I wheeled into the living room and Ranger was leaning against the counter.  That same feeling I've had in these last two weeks became more intense, because even though I wasn't an expert on reading Ranger I knew some big was up.

"So what did you find?" I asked as casually as I could.

Ranger's look was intense as he regarded me and my stomach fluttered and not in a good way.  I had Hal trace back looking for a number associated with a Hiram Mueller.  Every day since you've been in the hospital the same phone number keeps coming up here at the apartment.  According to our logs the number keeps coming in at the same time everyday, 10:00am to be exact."

I resisted the urge to run my hand against the back of my neck as I felt the fine pin prick crawl down my spine from my scalp, "And?" because yes there is going to be an And attached to this conversation.

"I had Hal call back the number and it was disconnected.  I'm having Hal run an in depth search to see if someone has been hacking into the phone company here in Trenton," He crossed his arms across his chest. "I am also having Hiram Mueller's name run through the system."

"What do you think is going on?" I asked.

"Could be Steve's partners trying to get in touch with you," Ranger said.

I had forgotten about Steve's partners.  The ones that had connections and could go anywhere.  "I never thought of that," I said.  "If they were going to contact me, wouldn't they already do so, I mean while I was at the hospital."

"I had someone posted at the hospital the whole time you were there, no one has been in or out of room aside from hospital staff."  Ranger walked across the room and crouched in front of me, "I would never leave you unprotected."

"What happened after you left my room that night, I mean before you had to go out of town."  I took his hand in mine, "Where did you go?"

"I spoke to Dr. Goodwin like you request regarding Morelli's wife.  Than I came back and sat with you the rest of the night."

"No you didn't," I said.

"Babe, I was with you the rest of the night, I didn't leave until ten the next morning."

My chest started to feel tight and the itching feeling along my spine grew more intense because HE WAS NOT THERE, "Are you sure?"

Before he could respond his phone rang and he picked it up with a Yo, and listened for a while before hanging back up.  "That was Hal calling back about what he found out; no one has been hacking into the phone system.  I wouldn't count on it though; someone really slick could get in without anyone really noticing."  His eyes went blank and that was never a good sign.  "The cross checks on the phone number and name came back though on Hiram Mueller.  According to Hal, Mueller's been dead for at least 30 years."

Black dots started to appear before my eyes and the tightness in my chest became more pronounced.  "But . . . I. ..," I looked at him to understand, "He . . . was . . . oh god, I saw him Ranger, he . . . he . . .  was there at the hospital.  He . . . gave me his business card."

"Babe, Stephanie focus on me," I turned my panicked stare at Ranger and he cupped my face with his warm hands, "You were very sick, but not doubting what you saw Stephanie.  We'll find out what's going on, I promise you."

I nodded my head and let him hug me tight, and I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck and breathed him in.  Ranger was real and solid, I had to believe in that, because the alternative was too frightening to contemplate.


	18. Chapter 18: Shadows

_**Disclaimer: **__The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Shadows

By, Elissahara30

I slipped out of bed and walked carefully into the kitchen, I let my hands run along the smooth walls of the seventh floor apartment. I refused to use the walker any longer; I was tired of being weak. Ranger didn't comment on my ability to walk around after being so sick, I smiled and let him hold my hand when he felt I was getting tired as he usually tucked me back into bed or the nearest chair. My new psychologist thought I had a mental block to getting better. I wanted to tell her to kiss my ass on more than one occasion. I hated her as much as I hated seeing any other doctors, especially now. However, some how she was the hardest to deal with on a weekly basis, I found I was running out of stories to tell her.

I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle from the bottom shelf. I leaned against the counter as I took a sip, letting the cool liquid sooth my dry throat. I looked at the calendar and frowned. Joy, I had to go see Dr. Ipisky again today. I turned away from the calendar and looked toward the person sitting in the far corner. I pretended he wasn't there and made my way back into the bedroom.

I didn't look at the box that held Mary Elizabeth's journal and I sure as hell didn't see the business card sitting on my part of the dresser. I opened the closet door and pulled out a light blue sweater. I turned around and there he was standing before me.

"You can't ignore me forever Stephanie," he said.

I stepped around him and opened the drawer that held my comfortable jeans, the ones that were easy to slip on over my still shaky legs. I liked easy these days. My cell phone started to ring and I picked it up and looked at the number. I turned off the cell and dropped it back down. I set my days clothing down on the bed and looked toward the bathroom. I reached out the grabbed the doorframe that lead to the bathroom. I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and entered the room. I picked up my brush, ran it through my hair, and tried to focus on the face that was mine. He stood there against the counter next to me.

"I liked it better when you were sick," he said. "At least you talked to me then."

I put the brush down and leaned against the counter, my shoulders bowed. "Babe," Ranger said as he entered the room.

I turned and smiled at him, "Hey, I didn't hear you come in from your run."

Ranger reached into the shower and turned on the spray, "You okay?"

I walked closer to him and put my arms around his sweaty chest, "Never better." I didn't smell the faint cigarette smoke that swirled around the bathroom.

I closed my eyes as I felt Ranger's hands on my body and I let him easily persuade me into sharing the shower with him. For a short while, I let myself be normal. I closed my eyes as Ranger's strong-callused hands gently rubbed my body. I sighed in contentment as he kissed his way across my collar bone, I lifted my leg around his waist has he entered me and I sobbed out my release as he captured my mouth in an all consuming kiss. I let the pleasure wash away my worries.

Later when I was dressed and Ranger had gone down to his office that I let myself sag against the couch. I pressed the heel of my hands to my eyes and wished again that I could be alone in my own head. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I asked.

"You're not finished yet Stephanie," he said.

I smiled bitterly, "Oh I'm done. You know what I'm way beyond being done."

Gabriel smirked at me as he lit another cigarette, "Why are you making this so hard on yourself?"

I barked out a laugh as I turned away from him, "You know if Dr. Ipisky could see me now she would have me committed in a heart beat. Who knew getting shot in the head can give someone Schizophrenia?"

"You need to solve this Stephanie, you have the answers you're just being too stubborn to see it." Gabriel said.

"Hell no I don't," I said, "I've seen A Beautiful Mind. There are not plots or secret government agencies and there sure as hell are no crimes for me to solve. This what ever you are is not real."

He sighed as he stood up; he gave me a serious look before taking in another drag from his cigarette, "Answer your phone Stephanie. Times running out." And he vanished.

I took in a shaky breath as I stood up and walked back into the bedroom. I looked down at the dresser and at my cell phone. Answer the phone? Last time I did that, I was speaking to a dead person. I looked up at the ceiling, "Why God?"

My cell rang.

I moved away from the nightstand and my back hit the wall. I turned toward the door and Ranger stood watching me. His eyes dark and unreadable as he walked into the room and picked up my phone, it was off just like it had been for days now. I closed my eyes and worked at calming my rapid heartbeat.

"You have an appointment with Dr. Ipisky today?" Ranger asked quietly, his voice barley above a whisper.

I nodded my head refusing to look at him. I felt him come near me and felt his fingertips under my chin. He moved my face toward him and I opened my eyes and looked at Ranger. What can I say to make this okay? "I'm sorry," I said.

He rested his forehead against mine, "We'll get through this," he said so calmly.

I felt so damn guilty inside. I've done nothing but turn his life upside down from the very first day I met him. And this last year and a half has been one horrible never-ending nightmare. I pulled back and gently put my hands on his smooth face and I smile softly at him, "You're too good to me."

He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm, "Babe."

A thousand meanings in that one word and I will never ever tire of hearing it. Today he meant, I love you and I will always be here. I blink back the tears that threaten to spill from my eyes.

"So who gets the hazard pay today?" I asked neutrally.

Ranger's lips turn up into the not smile as he rubs his thumb over my fingers. "Hal will take you to your appointment."

I felt relieved that Hal was my driver, I liked Hal and it didn't hurt that he wasn't afraid to sit in the same vehicle with me. I relaxed against Ranger, and he kissed my forehead and pulled back, "Do you want to come down to the control room today?"

Hell no! I didn't because not all of Ranger's men knew me very well and the ones that were new tend to get spooked by my presence. Julio still crosses himself when I walk into the same room as he is and I'm still not sure if it's about my hallucinations or just me being a colossal danger magnet. I haven't quit figured it out yet, but today I was already frazzled and didn't want to face everyone else unless I had too.

Hours later had me standing looking out the fourth floor window of Dr. Ipisky's office. I hated sitting on her chairs they always made me feel so small. Plus it was easier to lie if I didn't have to actually look at the doctor.

"How has your week been since our last session Stephanie?" I could hear the doctor open you file on me.

"Fine," I said.

"Hmmm," was Dr. Ipisky's way of saying 'and' to me.

"That's it same as last week nothing new to report," except that I kept seeing Gabriel all the time. That I have a phone that rings to a number that no longer exists. Oh and sometimes, I can still hear Steve laugh. Everything is just FINE.

"I was wondering you came to a decision about the prescription for antidepressants we talked about last week?"

Ah yes she talked I pretended to listen. I'm afraid that I'm currently taking more pills than my grandmother takes and adding one more wasn't on my list. "I'm okay without taking more pills."

"Carlos is very concerned about you," Dr. Ipisky said.

I thumped my head against the window, as I felt the familiar stab of guilt swell deep in my belly, "Yeah I know."

"I'm here to help you Stephanie, I'm not your enemy." She said smoothly.

But that's part of the problem isn't it? I would have to admit that everything wasn't all right in Stephanie Plum land. When it was just my physical body that refused to be better I was able to work through the difficulties, but my mind was a completely new scary area. I couldn't help the sigh that past through my lips.

I turned around to talk to Dr. Ipisky when _he_ was sitting on the edge of the desk merrily waving his fingers at me. I tried not to stare as he walked to me and slipped my cell phone in my pocket.

"Answer the phone," he said again. He walked past the doctor's desk and out the door. I reached down into my pocket and grabbed the phone, and noticed it was on.

"You know you're not allowed to have your phone while we're in session Stephanie," admonished Dr. Ipisky.

I looked up, met her eyes, and didn't know what to say, I had left the phone at home. I looked toward the door and suddenly my knees felt wobbly. I stumbled my way toward the chairs in front of the doctor's desk and sat heavily.

"Stephanie?" asked the doctor cautiously.

I looked up at her and shoved the phone back in my pocket. I gave her a shaky smile and said, "Yeah sorry."

Dr. Ipisky leaned forward and looked intently at me, "What's on your mind?"

It's not what but whom I wanted to say, I closed my eyes and came up with the best lie I could, "It's my mother," I said. "She wants me to update her every minute of every day about my recovery and its getting on my nerves and every time. I see my phone I want to scream."

"Why don't we schedule a family session for our next visit," she opened her book and penned in a notation.

I put my fingers to the immediately twitch in my eye, "That really isn't necessary," I began.

"No, no I think it's really important that your family participate in your ongoing recovery, sometimes having a strong support system among one's family builds stronger bonds and healthier attitudes when one is trying to regain their independence after being so ill." She said so earnestly to me as she leaned over her desk.

I stared at the doctor in horror; this is something I really, really didn't need.

"I'll make arrangements with Mr. Manoso," Dr. Ipisky said and then she clasp her hands before; "I think you are doing really well in our sessions." She looked at her watch and tsked, "Time just flies by, I look forward to meeting your family in our next appointment."

I stood up nodded my head and walked out of the door. I looked at Hal as he sat in the waiting room chair and then I looked over to the waiting room bathroom. "Hey Hal," I said, "I need to use the restroom." I walked over and went in without waiting for an answer.

I locked the door behind it and rested my back against the counter. I pulled out my cell phone and sat it up on the counter. I started to chew on my thumbnail as I waited for the phone to ring.

I watched as the phone buzzed on the counter top and I picked it flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

"Do you have the diamond?" asked the voice I've only heard twice before.

My hands shook as I held the phone to my ear, "Yeah," I replied.

"Good . . . good," the voice said absently, "you need to meet me at my store on 5th, one hour." Then he hung up.

I dropped the phone on the counter and turned on the water and with hands; shacking harder then ever I splashed my face. I took large gulps of air as I turned and sunk to the floor. I turned my eyes to Gabriel and said, "I answered."

He smiled as he took another drag off his cigarette. He blew it our slowly "Well you should get going its rude to make Mr. Mueller wait."


	19. Chapter 19: Glimmer

_**Disclaimer: **__The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine. _

Glimmer

By, Elissahara30

I feel like Alice tripping her way through Wonderland without the benefit of the Cheshire Cat to guide my way. I looked at the bathroom door then down at my phone and every gut instinct that I posses screamed at me to call Ranger. Nevertheless, I knew this part of the journey I had to do alone. This was my trip down the rabbit hole. I suppressed a hysterical giggle as I stood up, turned on the sink, and splashed water on my face again. God I truly hope I won't be meeting up with the Mad Hatter any time soon.

At some point, I had blanked out and Gabriel was gone. I heard a knock at the bathroom door, "Stephanie?" Called Hal.

I looked at the door, "What do I do now?"

"If you hadn't killed me you know you wouldn't be in this mess now," whispered Steve in my ear.

"Holy shit!" I jumped and whacked my head against the door.

Steve leered at me as he sat on the bathroom counter. Steve looked like he did in life. Smug and completely full of himself, "So you off to see . . . the jeweler?" he said.

"Why God?" I asked as I looked up toward the ceiling at this point I would have preferred the Mad Hatter to Steve any day.

"I've been asking him the very same question, but he isn't returning may calls." He said.

"I don't have time for this," and I wrenched open the door and walked right into Hal's overly muscled chest.

Hal gripped my arms to prevent me from falling backwards. My face reddened as I pretended not to hear Steve snicker behind me. I took a minute to gather my bearings before I patted Hal's arm, "I'm fine." I said.

Hal had a slightly panicked look on his face. "Umm," he said.

I plastered on my best 'not crazy' smile and said, "You know what I want, I want to go to Cluck in a Bucket." I moved a little unsteadily from Hal, "I'd kill for some fried chicken right about now."

Hal's face got a shade whiter, "I should umm . . ." he gave the door to Dr. Ipicky's office inner office a look, "You know . . ." He started.

"If you're afraid the foods going to make me sick, don't be. I've been on health food so long I feel my body just screaming for saturated fats. Come on Hal I know you want a bucket of chicken as bad as I do," I grabbed his hand tried to tug him to the door out of the doctor's office.

Hal is many things but being overly bright wasn't one of his talents and right now, I just needed him to go along with me. Steve silently trailed behind us.

Out in the parking lot I lead us to the RangeMan's SUV. Hal stopped and I tripped and then recovered briefly and turned and looked at Hal, "What?"

Hal looked somewhat constipated as he scrunched up his face and said, "Um are you alright?"

Oh hell, if I were all right I wouldn't be seeing Dr. Ipisky. I blew out a breath and said, "Hal I'm doing okay. Really, you don't need to worry about me."

"But you where . . . in the bathroom." He stammered.

Ah, heard me talking to myself, I grabbed my cell phone and showed it to Hal. "I had a call to make and I just wanted to have some privacy."

Hal's expression cleared up immediately and he smiled at me, "Oh great." Then we walked the rest of the way to the SUV and we both stopped and stared at the bright orange boot on the front wheels of the RangeMan vehicle.

"Well that's convenient," said Steve beside me.

"No shit," I murmured.

Hal frowned as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the control room back at RangeMan. Hal was talking on the phone as he approached the car and kicked at the boot on the wheel. I looked over to my right and noticed an alley and if I wasn't already sure I was crazy my Uncle Sal's Buick was sitting right there waiting for me.

"This is too weird," I said, "Nothing ever works out this way."

Steve slung his arm over my shoulder, "Divine intervention?"

More like a temptation from the devil but in for a pound . . . I looked back over at Hal and he was still absorbed in his call and he wasn't paying any attention to me. I stood up straighter, made my way toward the Buick, and didn't look back.

I reached toward the door handle and ignored Steve and the shaking of my hand as I made myself grasp the handle. The door opened easily and I slid onto the seat, closed the door, and breathed out as I put my hands on the steering wheel. I laughed a little hysterically has I noticed that right in the ignition were my own personal set of car keys. I closed my eyes and started the vehicle. Without fail, it started and I set the car to drive and eased it out of the alley. I gave Hal a little finger wave as I passed him to the street and eased myself in traffic. I tried to ignore the tight feeling in my belly.

"You realize we're going to have to ditch this car before you meet up with the jeweler right?" asked Steve as he leaned back in the passenger seat, his arm stretched across the back of the seat.

I slid a look over at him as we turned onto the street. "Why?"

He shook his head at me, "I know I raddled your brain when I shot you in the head, but you know that man of yours always has a tracker on you right and I bet even though you haven't driven this car for over two years doesn't mean that he still doesn't have one that he can activate."

"Right," I said and I kept driving until I got to familiar territory. I knew I was taking a risk in pulling the Buick to the back of the Bonds office, but no one expected me to come here anyway. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and prayed that my door key still unlocks the back door of Vinnie's office.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, eased myself in, and went straight to where Vinnie stored his items that he acquired in place of payment. I grabbed a set of handcuffs and stuffed them in my back pocket, I reached up and with a deep breath grabbed the gun safe and moved it over to a low file cabinet.

"You don't need that," Steve said.

"You know what Steve, go haunt someone else," I hissed as I tried to slot the gun safe key into to key hole and no matter what I did I kept missing and I stopped and closed my eyes and took in a deep breath held and let it out through my mouth and tried again. I focused my energy on my shaking hand, the key went into the slot, and I turned in the lock and felt the release and I carefully opened the lid and inside of all things was my Sig Sauer that Ranger had given to me a lifetime ago.

"Damn," I said.

I picked up the Sig and the clip and checked to make sure that it was fully loaded with ammo before slotting it into the place. I moved my shoulders trying to ease the sudden tension that crept into them.

"Who's in there?" called a voice, the door opened suddenly from the front of the office, and Connie was pointing a gun at me. Without much thought, my own Sig swung up and pointed at Connie.

"Steph? What are you doing here?" She asked as she lowered her gun.

I didn't lower mine, "I need to use your car," I said.

She looked at the Sig in my hand and then at my face, "Are you in trouble?" she asked cautiously.

I nodded my head, "Yeah Connie I kinda am."

"I'll just go out front, get my keys, and bring them back to you okay?" she started out of the room.

"NO!" I shout and I reach forward grabbing a stun gun from the shelf on my way and before either of us could think down, she went as the shock hit her system.

"That was truly impressive," Steve said as he peered down at Connie.

I set both the stun gun and my Sig down and then reached forward and dragged Connie the rest of the way into the storage room. "I am so sorry Connie," I whispered as I grabbed another set of handcuffs and cuffed her to the file cabinet. I then picked up the gun and stuffed it into the back of my jeans and then picking up the stun gun slowly made my way toward the front of the office. I kept my back against the wall as much as possible and looked out to see if Lula was out front. No one was there and I check to see if Vinnie's door was open and noticed it was and then I looked inside, it was empty too.

I walked as fast as my legs would lead me to Connie's desk and reached into the top drawer where she kept her keys and grabbed them out and then made my way out the front of the office. I looked down the street and spied Connie's car, my heart was beating so hard, as my feet took me closer to her car.

I unlocked her car, got in, and put the key in the ignition and off I was again. I turned down and made my way out of Trenton. I kept focused on the road, Steve kept quiet next to me, and I appreciated the silence in my head. The further away from the Bonds office we went the more the tension left me and I knew I could do this; I could finish this and get my life back.

I turned onto 5th Street and headed to what were once Mueller and Son Jewelers. I pulled Connie's car in front of a simple brick storefront, with the faded green door and matching awning. I noticed that the single light that shown in through the dirty window. I took off my seat belt and just sat there wondering what awaited me on the other side of that door.

Steve leaned across me and looked out the driver side window, "Not much to look at is it?"

"Do you mind," I said as I tried to move away.

He sneered at me, "Relax, I'm dead."

"You're getting death cooties all over me," I said. Then I opened the driver's side door and scooted out as carefully as I could. I felt my knees wobble and I grabbed the car door for support. "Shit," I swore as my vision started to swim. My noise was assaulted with the smell of cigarette smoke and I groaned for a whole other reason.

"Oh joy the whole party is here," I said.

Gabriel looked at me calmly and then at Steve. "Times almost up," Gabriel said, and then he was gone.

"I hate when he dose that," I grumbled as I shut the car door behind me. I braced myself and then on tired legs I made my way into the jewelry store.

The building smelt damp and unused, empty, my nose started to twitch as my footsteps stirred up the dust the floated up off the floor. The room seemed to echo with my breathing and I could hear my heartbeat lout in my ears. On the back wall of the main showroom sat the single glowing light that I'd seen when I pulled up. On top of the old glass display, case sat a black jeweler's cloth and an eyeglass.

I stopped before the case, Steve stood at my shoulder, and I stuffed my hands in my pockets and waited for something, anything to happen.

"Miss Plum," said the ancient voice of Hiram Mueller.

I turned toward my left and he looked the exact same as he did that day in my hospital room. He seemed to move with more energy today though and he walked past us and to the counter with the cloth. "The diamond if you please?"

I pulled the necklace off from around my neck and set it down on the black cloth. Attached to necklace was the satchel that held the Angel's Heart.

With sure and experienced hands, Mr. Mueller carefully opened the satchel and gently let the diamond spill out onto the cloth. He slipped on white cotton gloves before even touching the diamond. He raised it up so the light seemed to re-facture off the surface and my breath caught because I swear I felt if beat in the space between us. It echoed in my chest and I had to grip the counter before me.

"Isn't it marvelous?" Mr. Mueller said, he took up the eyeglass and set before is eye and then he seemed to just vibrate along with the beat of the diamond.

It was so unreal how the air just became more charged and my palms started to sweat, my legs weaker. Then next to Mr. Mueller shown Mary Elizabeth and our eyes met and I felt it deeper still the vibration the intense emotion that this year and half has meant to me. We seemed locked in a contest of wills and then before I could stop myself I reached forward and she reached back. Our hands clasped over the counter and I knew . . .

The terror, the deep pain of what had happened to Mary Elizabeth, all that she had sacrificed in order to keep the family she worked for safe. Her loss, it speared me and shook me and tore me apart piece by little piece. I felt tears leak out of my eyes as I was swept away in each tidal wave of the past that couldn't ever change and be made whole again.

Her lips moved to say something to me, I leaned closer and closed my eyes, and I heard it. Whisper soft and so cold, "Thank you."

I open my eyes and she gone, I look at Mr. Mueller, he has gone, and then I notice Steve watching me quietly before he seemed to fade too. The beat that I felt dissipated to only one heartbeat, the heartbeat in my chest. I find myself alone again and I sit hard on the floor before the display counter.

"Babe?" silhouette in the light from the front door stood Ranger.

I look up at him, feel at once at home, and scared at what I might look like to him. He came into the room slowly and I don't even try to get up. I watch each of his measured steps and then he is there crouched down in front of me. I look into his unreadable brown eyes.

"You found me," I say as I continue to look at him.

"There isn't a place you could go, that I wouldn't be able to find you," he said.

"I'm ready to go home now," I said.

He reached forward and to pull me carefully back to my feet. I turn slightly to pick up the diamond when it happens. The one thing I had forgotten. I don't remember hearing a gun shot, just the sudden weight of Ranger tipping forward and the blood on my hands. We both went down in a heap, "Ranger!"

I pressed my hands against the wound on Ranger's chest trying to keep the blood from seeping out of his body. Shaking my head as I watched him bleed out in front of me, I felt his life leave me like all my nightmares. "Ranger, Ranger, Ranger," I desperately say in his ear, but he didn't move at all.

"You have something that belongs to me," She said.

"Why?" I asked, "Why are you . . . what?" As I keep my hands on Ranger and watch as she got closer to me.

She came nearer to her gun steady in her hand as she too crouches near us, "Because you always had what I wanted all along. I knew about you from the papers, and I knew about Steve and his ex-wife from even before and I wanted it. The Diamond, your boyfriend your life"

I had a sudden painful flash of déjà vu, my apartment, Ranger's daughter, Eddie Scrog another time another life. "You sent Steve after me?" I asked.

"I sent Steve and the stupid ass had to screw it up by getting high before going to your sister's house, but it was almost worth it when I heard he shot you. I couldn't wait to find out but you know what you stupid bitch. You just wouldn't die." She sneered, "Then again I managed to get something out of the deal anyway."

A black rage crawled through me as I stared at Janis, "Fuck you."

She shrugged, "You did prove useful when you woke back up from your coma so hey all the better for me." She stood up, reached over us, and grabbed the diamond from the counter. "You know what's even better," she said, "You get to go down for murdering Manoso here because poor, poor Stephanie is crazy. And I get to keep the diamond and Joe."

"You will never get away with this," I hissed at her.

Janis just smiled at me, "I already have," she said. She turned to go, I struggled to get out from under Ranger, I used the counter to pull myself up, and I reached for the gun in the back of my jeans, "JANIS!"

She turned toward me and I didn't even hesitate I fired the Sig and shot her square in the chest. Janis looked surprised as her chest bloomed red; she dropped her gun and then the diamond before falling forward to the floor.

In a flash of light, the Diamond too disappeared and I gasped out as the room began to shake and roll under my feet. I fall forward hard, knocking my head against the display counter. My world faded from me. When I open my eyes I find myself in the blankness that was the In Between. I move until I was sitting up. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

I saw a figure walk slowly toward me and I watched as Gabriel finally stopped in front of me. He crouched down and looked at me solemnly.

"What now?" I whisper.

"You tell me," he says quietly.

"I wish I knew," I say.

I close my eyes as I feel his hands cup my face, "You always held the power Stephanie. All the choices were yours."

I felt the salty tears on my lips and I tried again to understand, "Was any of it real?"

I felt his breath across my face, "Yes."

"So Ranger . . .," I chock on a sob.

Gabriel wiped my tears away gently with his thumbs, "You brought back the diamond and gave Mary Elizabeth peace." He said, "Hiram Mueller fulfilled his part in the story and Steve Bulisco has been judged."

"And Janis will she pay for what she did to me?" I worked hard on stifling the sob in my chest, "To Ranger."

Gabriel arms gathered me close and held me against his chest, "You did well Stephanie." he said in my ear, "You have another choice to make, but once you make it, it can't be undone."

I pulled back out of his arms and looked at Gabriel. We stared at each other and I knew our breaths were measured time in years versus just mere seconds. I was on the cusp of eternity and I wasn't sure it I was ready, not just yet. "I wasn't prepared last time."

A sparkle of mischief refracted through Gabriel's eyes. "You're never alone, even when things are at their darkest. You are never alone."

I wasn't so sure it that was true and I didn't want to get into the debate right now. "I'm scared," I confess.

He brushed the hair back from my face, "Don't be, you have nothing to fear."

I close my eyes and feel myself fade away.


End file.
